Clive Aslet shrugs off the neuroses of the digital age on a Burmese river cruise 'It's not supposed to do this," said Paul Strachan, the founder of Pandaw River Cruises. We were in Mandalay, and he was standing on the deck of the latest addition to his 15-boat fleet of river craft. It was raining. The many golden stupas of the monasteries on the other side of the Irrawaddy, which ought to have been sparkling in the Burmese sun, glimmered feebly through the mist.story_article_left1Meanwhile, the deck of the boat resembled a theatrical production, not quite ready for opening night. The builder of the boat we should have travelled on - brand new - had apparently gone bankrupt. But when the receivers refused to release it, Strachan remembered he had a shallow-draft barge, previously used as a floating clinic in the Irrawaddy delta. He had just eight weeks to turn it into a waterborne boutique hotel, with a superstructure of teak. Then northern Burma caught the tail end of a cyclone in the Bay of Bengal, and it poured.But the show had to go on, and timetables respected, if we were to reach Katha, the settlement where George Orwell wrote Burmese Days, and where his house was said to survive.We left with tarpaulins covering the upper deck and electricians hanging perilously off the rails, wiring the lights. D rips began to manifest on the ceilings. My cabin remained dry, although the bathroom was puddled. Other passengers were less fortunate. Over dinner we discussed what might be done to keep the bedding dry. It was then that we hit the first sandbank. The dining table shot forward. New drips appeared . In the kitchen, desserts flew off their shelf . Passengers went down like skittles.Now, you might think this was an inauspicious start to a holiday. That would be to misjudge the spirit of the Pandaw clientele. They're sufficiently mature, as well as flush, to enjoy travelling in comfort but retain a zest for adventure. Pandaw offers intrepidity to the panama-hat-wearing classes and does it very well.Bruises healed, and the sun burnt off the fog that hung about the river for the first few mornings. Within 48 hours, normality - or what passes for it, on a river boat in the great emptiness of the upper Irrawaddy - resumed its sway. Before the next season, another deck will have been added to the boat - and no doubt they will have remembered to insert the layer of tin beneath the floorboards, which (forgotten this time in the hurry of completion) is the Burmese method of sealing decks.Politically, Burma may be troubled but to the visitor it is a place of calm. Buddhist calm, you might say, because the evidence of Burma's principal religion is all around. Here, you must shrug off the neuroses of the digital age. You can't check your e-mail every few minutes: there's no wi-fi or cellphone signal.After I panicked, I realised being cut off from the outside world is one of the greatest of modern luxuries. Breathe deeply. Meditate. Focus your mind, as I was advised, on the air going in and out of your nostrils.mini_story_image_vright1This is an intensely spiritual country. During his lifetime, every Burmese is expected to spend at least two sessions as a monk; the first, when he's nine, accompanied by a big party. Every morning, around 6am, shaven-headed monks, in robes the colour of oxblood, walk barefoot through towns and villages for food. They don't ask; the donors request permission to give, which earns them credit in the next life.Britain's monastic age ended in the 16th century - and the Burmese landscape has a suggestion of England as it must have been then. It's a peasant agriculture. Carts and horses are pulled by oxen. Wooden dwellings, their rooms open to the public gaze, are thatched with rush. Occasionally, a small television flickers, but few homes have electricity or running water. The scene resembles that of a Willow Pattern plate, with women in bamboo hats carrying baskets of fruit suspended from a pole.I could hardly believe the peace of the Irrawaddy. Or the beauty. Each sunrise and sunset is a living Turner. The riverbank and its ways provide a fund of interest, from the boatmen sounding the water's depth with poles to the sight of other boats that have got stuck on the shifting sands. The putter-putter of local river craft becomes a familiar sound.But some traffic passes in majestic silence. Rafts of bamboo - used for scaffold poles, columns, baskets, hats - are floated to the cities by nothing more than the current. The men responsible for the cargo live on top of it, in huts, during a journey of several months.There were dolphins, which fishermen summon by knocking on the side of their boats, then reward with the by-catch after fish have been driven into their nets.Mud flats, made fertile by the annual floods, grow sunflowers, peanuts and neat plots of vegetables. In the British era, Burma exported more rice than any other country on Earth. Settlements nestle among betel palms and the domed rain trees that were imported under the Raj.While poor people gain credit for the next life by giving rice, potentates endow monasteries or build pagodas. We stopped at Mingun, where one Burmese king wanted to obtain the maximum credit by building the biggest pagoda ever. He did not get further than the plinth - a huge brick structure, now cracked by earthquakes. It deserves to rank as one of the Wonders of the World. The bell for the pagoda, cast in 1808, is supposed to be 14 times the size of the biggest bell at St Paul's.Tradition runs deep here. Statues of the Buddha become blobs under the burden of gold leaf, beaten tissue-thin by craftsmen in Mandalay and applied by the devout. Dried fish is weighed on balance scales and taken home in a wrapping made from a forest leaf. Shy women pedal at ancient sewing machines, their faces decorated with a paste made from ground wood. They wash their clothes in the river. Men still wear the sarong-like longyi. Smoke from the wood and charcoal hearths used for cooking perfumes the air.full_story_image_hleft2At Kyauk-myoung, we watched 190lwater-jars being made. They're fired in kilns primed with the driftwood that is a by-product of the logging that has stripped Burma of half of its mature teak forests since 1988; the discarded branches are washed down to the Irrawaddy by monsoon rains. The glaze of the pots is made from lava combined with the lead from old car batteries.Elephants thrive in Burma, despite the deforestation. We visited a working elephant camp outside Katha to see them. I felt their breath as gently whistling trunks lifted bananas from our hands.Country roads are so dire that a river boat is a practical, as well as privileged, way to penetrate the heart of Burma. Go quickly, though. Plastic bags are beginning to replace forest leaves. In Mandalay, where I stayed at the Hotel by the Red Canal and borrowed a bicycle, there are a few cars. The horses and traps that would have been a familiar sight a few years ago - and still are at Katha - have gone. In their place have come motorbikes, fuelled by petrol sold in vegetable-oil bottles. One of the less picturesque scenes on the river is that of a nickel mine, run by the Chinese.In Katha, 240km from where we began our cruise, it's a miracle that Orwell's old home - brick with teak verandahs - has survived; buildings age quickly in the harsh climate and maintenance is unknown. The writer wouldn't be sorry that it's crumbling, though: he hated the place and the boozy oafs and catty women who met in the tennis club.But the anti-imperialist would be dismayed to see that another empire, an economic one, is rising. Orwell's compatriots, working in the teak forests, managed them sustainably. Burma's mighty neighbour, China, not to mention the prevailing Burmese regime, is less considerate of its natural resources - and fragile beauty - than the Raj.sub_head_start CRUISING THE GREEN MILES sub_head_endstory_article_right2• Red Savannah ( redsavannah.com ) can organise a 12-night holiday from £3250 per person, incorporating a seven-night Beyond Bhamo cruise with Pandaw River Expeditions. The price is based on two people sharing a twin stateroom on the RV Zawgyi Pandaw and includes two nights in both Mandalay and Yangon before and after the cruise. The package includes return flights from London, a one-way domestic flight between Mandalay and Yangon and one day with a private guide in both Mandalay and Yangon.On board the Zawgyi Pandaw, all meals, excursions, soft drinks, local beers, local spirits and tips for the crew are included.ELSEWHERE IN BURMA• Avoca Travels is offering a five-night tour to the cities of Yangon and Mandalay. The price starts at R19797, including return airfares from Johannesburg. Call 0312020370 or see avocatravels.com .- © The Daily Telegraph..