The 7 cardinal rules of flying with kids

Books, vodka and tablets (the tech kind) can help everyone keep a cool head, writes Elizabeth Sleith

1) IT’S A LOT OF RED TAPE

It’s been two years since those infamous Home Affairs rules came into effect and they’re clearly not going away. Even if leaving the country with little ones is but a twinkle in your mind’s eye at this point, just apply for the unabridged birth certificate already.

Seriously, you can’t leave home without it and it may take years to get it.

Kids also need their own passports — and both parents have to appear in person at Home Affairs, with the child, to apply. Besides the unabridged, which you need regardless of who’s flying, what else you need depends on who else is going. Both parents? Your own travel documents.

One parent? A signed affidavit from the other giving consent. Or a death certificate. Or, if mom and dad aren’t speaking, a court order. Details at dha.gov.za.

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2) NO ONE ELSE THINKS YOUR KID IS AS CUTE AS YOU DO (SORRY)

Hey, I have a young child too and I’m perpetually amazed at the havoc that other parents happily let their kids cause. Remember, it’s not just about keeping your darlings content in the confined space of an aeroplane.

It’s also about those poor suckers who just happen to have booked a flight at the same time as you. By all means, keep Junior happy but not if it means letting him run up and down the aisle, kick the chair in front of him, or challenge the person behind him to an hours-long staring contest. It’s. Not. Cute.

3) BAGS, BABY, BAGS

Packing right is your first line of defence — and luggage made especially for little kids is a great start. UK-based Trunki makes the most wonderful multi-purpose luggage for children. They have a backpack that doubles as a booster seat (genius!) and adorable (and customisable)  cases that they can actually ride on. Great for scooting them through airports — and if yours is the untameable type, they sell reins too. The cases are R999 at http://trunki-sa.co.za. The design-your-own option is at https://trunki.com.

4) DO SOME PRACTICAL MAGIC

Keep space in your own carry-on for a little emergency kit: things you hopefully won’t need but will be glad to have if you do. Include wet wipes, hand sanitiser and  kid-friendly medications for pain and fever (just remember you can only carry liquids in 100ml, so decant  into a travel-sized container). Also, once you’ve cleared security, sneak some whisky or vodka into your kit at the duty-free. Okay, okay, that’s for you …

For the sprogs, throw in a lollipop or sucking sweet for the start and end of the flight (and not too many in between, please). The changes in air pressure at takeoff and landing usually cause the most trauma. Sucking will help balance the ears and keep little mouths closed.    

5) BRIBE IF YOU HAVE TO

Your ultimate weapon during the flight is distraction — and the element of surprise is your  friend. I’ve seen experts recommend that you plan a different activity for every half hour, which may sound like a lot but you are dealing with terminally tiny attention spans.

Here’s a great idea: fill up a bag of tricks, choosing things your kid will like. Variety is key: activity books, stickers, magnetic board games, toys, books (see a list of new, local publications on the next page) … you could even print out images of their favourite characters for them to colour in. The point is, good behaviour will earn them a right to, at intervals, dip into the goodie bag and pull out another surprise.

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6) TECHNOLOGY, IT’S AWESOME

Whatever your feelings about screen time in normal life, tablets, mini DVD players and in-flight kids’ cartoons might just save the day. If you have guilt about that sort of thing, assuage it with tech that at least has an educational bent.

In the app store, there are tons of options tailored to age-appropriate edutainment, so spend some time shopping there for your specific ages. Things like learning the alphabet, or counting or tracing shapes are a good place to start … remember headphones and full charge.

Also, do think about tech beyond the tablet.  Audiobooks are a  great way to give their eyes a rest and still keep them busy. At audible.com you can search for children’s books by age. They even have a range of book versions of Disney films, which might be a great way to introduce TV-addled brains to listening. 

A  free  option is  to look at podcasts — you can download tons   for children. At the BBC’s CBeebies radio, you can download 30 episodes as MP3s, featuring all their favourite characters.   

7) KEEP THEM COMFY

The holy grail is that they’ll eventually drop off. Up the chances by  taking their own blanket or even a pillow (which can double as a booster seat on the plane). Neck support is important and lots of places sell cute travel pillows that double as toys. Try Cuddlebugs at Cape Union Mart capeunionmart.co.za.