Everyone wants a DILF
"OMG," I overheard a colleague saying to her GBF (gay best friend) at a gallery opening in Johannesburg last week. "Look at that DILF." The gorgeous daddy in question, toting his five-year-old daughter on his shoulders, is an extremely wealthy South African businessman who excels at sport, has a body worthy of a Heat six-pack centrefold, dresses like a model and is a devoted husband and father. Could a woman's fantasy get any better?
A DILF, for those who might not know, is an acronym for "Dad I'd Like to ." (derived from the more prevalent MILF nickname for hot moms). These designer dads can be seen wearing white tees and jeans, aviator sunglasses and Havaianas, pushing a pram through Main Street Life, or playing catch with their toddler on the avenues of Parkhurst, in Woodstock or on Durban's Florida Road.
DILFS have one obvious advantage over MILFs: they don't have to actually carry and bear the child they look so hot looking after. If, after the advent of fatherhood, they no longer have the six-pack that made them famous in the first place, they have only themselves to blame.
But DILFs have it easier than MILFs in other ways too. DILFs get to be gentle and confident, at the same time, and it's a total turn-on.
Whether they're being all buddy-buddy with their sons or sweet and protective with their daughters, any sincere interaction with the little ones renders them absolutely irresistible.
According to columnist Shawna Cohen, MILFs have only one basic requirement: physical hotness.
"There's none of that internal dialogue that most women have when it comes to sexy dads - when was the last time you spotted two guys checking out a hot mom and saying 'Wow, isn't she amazing with the kids, she's so devoted and committed - that totally gets me hot'. MILFs just need a hot ass, but DILFs can be much more than that."
As a mother of a two-and a four-year-old, I know the park is home to some serious dad eye-candy. But, if you're lucky enough to live near one, the beach is DILF heaven.
Watching dads splashing with their surfboards and their kids in the breakers triggers some kind of fantasy in every hot- blooded female.
International DILFs are plentiful. This month's GQ UK magazine put them into three categories. Geezer DILFs, of whom Liam Gallagher is, tragically, the hero; the high priest of DILFdom, Chris Martin of Coldplay, with Brad Pitt, David Beckham and Clive Owen hot on his heels; and the Anti-DILF - drunken dad David Hasselhoff and philandering Charlie Sheen are singled out.
Martin wins the DILF quote of the year award for saying: "Men should always change diapers. It's very rewarding. It's mentally cleansing. It's like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love those dishes."
South African DILFs are also plentiful.
Columnist Milisuthando Bongela wrote: "Today's black fathers go to their children's sport games, are part of the parent-teachers' association, play superdad at the child's birthday party - even go on special dates with their daughters."
Thomas Msengana, aka Bad Boy T, is a hot dad who loves to hang out with his kids: "To get away from everything, I take my kids to go and do some snazzy camping. We love Harties."
"I helped organise my wife's baby shower. You can't get more romantic than that."
He has the perfect MILF partner, radio personality and Idols host Unathi Msengana.
Although some of our DILFs come under fire for bad behaviour (remember Joostgate), others are picture-perfect role models. Known as South Africa's Beckham, Matthew Booth is a gorgeous father and husband. During Africa Fashion Week this year, he walked the ramp with his wife, Sonia, for top designer David Tlale.
But remember gals, there's a golden rule to DILF-spotting. They're off limits.
"Apart from being labelled 'home-wrecker', you'll also have to deal with his MILFy wife who probably takes boxing and spinning classes and could kick your a**," says Cohen.
I love our DILFS, but it's a pity we don't have PILFs in this country, like they do in the US (read President I'd Like to .).