ON THE COUCH: Beating the bullies

SHRINK RAP: To pull this off will require self-confidence, grit and determination.

Before you convince your son you need to enlighten him about the potential risks and benefits of your approach so he can make an informed choice and be prepared for a potential fall-out.

He would need to know that by following your suggested path he may positively influence the others or make himself vulnerable to the same bullying.

If you son lacks any of these qualities here is the ideal opportunity to practise and develop them. Start by discussing values, and what constitutes dehumanising practices and the effects of these on victims, on society and on the perpetrators.

He needs to decide who he respects and admires, what it is he values in those people and what qualities he would choose to acquire himself. Then you need to show him how befriending this isolated boy could help him to develop and practise those qualities. - Leonard Carr

SUPERNANNY

While our children are young, we have the opportunity to influence their behaviour. If your child is young enough for you to be organising play dates, call this child's mother and invite them both over. If the boys see their mothers being interested in each other and friendly, there is every chance they will do the same.

You can also facilitate conversations with the boys together to help them build rapport and discover what interests they may have in common.

The more he sees you reaching out to others in general, the more he is likely to behave in a similar manner. You can also ask him to reflect on what it might feel like to be the one "left out" of groups so he can be more empathetic towards this boy and invite him into the group. - Stephanie Dawson-Cosser