Tweets, treats and twits

19 December 2014 - 02:03 By Andile Ndlovu
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DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS: 'I work so hard for 11 months of the year, so Christmas is the perfect excuse for spoiling myself. And I have a tradition - the New Year's Eve dress. I'll be shopping around for that when I land in Cape Town' - Bonang Matheba
DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS: 'I work so hard for 11 months of the year, so Christmas is the perfect excuse for spoiling myself. And I have a tradition - the New Year's Eve dress. I'll be shopping around for that when I land in Cape Town' - Bonang Matheba
Image: NICK BOULTON

Let's be honest, half of us would have deactivated our Twitter accounts if it weren't for the scandals.

This year our celebrities and politicians didn't hold back. Some had us rolling on the floor from laughter, and some left us gobsmacked with their puerile antics.

The Times compiled a list of the most memorable (and embarrassing) tweets.

  • "I'm livid. It's not MY fault that it took Glamour so long. Call me names again, boo. My team will deal with you. Dismissed [sic]." - Bonang Matheba to blogger Phil Mphela, who found no cause to celebrate the Metro FM presenter being the first black South African to appear on the cover of Glamour magazine. Mphela suggested that Bonang was a "puppet" and a "rent-a-black".
  • "Even those who attended Nelson Mandela's wedding didn't know his marriage [would] Die in the Hands of a BEN 10 [sic]." - Former SA Students' Congress chairman Sammy Mashita, in response to Dali Mpofu's tweet after Numsa's expulsion from Cosatu, last month. Mpofu had tweeted: "29 years ago I drove all the way to Durban to attend the launch of Cosatu. I never thought it would die in the hands of a nursing sister."
  • "Who's paying for this massive funeral for #SenzoMeyiwa?" - Gareth Cliff, who upset many people, including Minister of Sport Fikile Mbalula, who said Cliff was "suffering from a Verwoerd hangover".
  • "I think it's fine to be homophobic, but to imprison someone for life because of their sexual preference is quite hefty." - eNCA business journalist Arabile Gumede responding to the anti-homosexuality bill signed into law by Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni. He was forced to apologise for contravening his employer's social media policy
  • "Your new single, Nzima, is a despicable piece of whitewash. Leave God alone. Look to your ANC". - EFF MP Andile Mngxitama to singer Simphiwe Dana. He derided her for saying that the Marikana massacre was "God's will".
  • "Sorry to offend, but in my books blacks were the architects of apartheid. Go figure." - Steve Hofmeyr on yet another day on which he woke up on the wrong side of his cold bed.
  • "Congratulations to Floyd Shivambu for obtaining his MA. Let's hope pesky thieves won't break into his house and steal his certificates." - Zakes Mda, taking a dig at the SABC's lying Ellen Tshabalala.
  • "The point isn't dropping out of school but rather finding your purpose on this earth & perusing [sic] it in a manner that you influence the world." - Cassper Nyovest, whose typo deserves to be perused, or is that "pursued"?
  • "My difficulty in sympathising with the Generations cast is that they chose to be ANC mascots during the elections, yet ANC did f*kol for them!" - EFF chief whip Floyd Shivambu, who does not mince his words.
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