At Vovo Telo, a groovy little bakery in Umhlanga, old men with short pants and long socks cluster at tables and ogle hot housewives cruising past in Porsche Cayennes. It is fitting actually: apparently Vovo Telo means "Grandpa's Place" in Portuguese.The outstanding feature of Vovo Telo is that it is pukka. The place breathes authenticity; from all the little adornments to the artisan bakers who are so dusty-white from the flour you can barely see their big smiles.There's a retro glass-fronted pastry stand that magnetically attracts children.The owners and the self-proclaimed black Jew, Mordechai, have created the happy, relaxed atmosphere of the village bakery.They let the buzzy bees scurry around the sugary treats unhindered.The pastries are mouthwateringly scrumptious.I had to buy an apple Danish, cinnamon croissant, almond friand and raspberry tart, a heady little carb fest.I hurried back to the office, where we flattened it in minutes.It was worth every cent; the baking is light and tasty and a real credit to the bakers.Vovo Telo also does great thin-based pizzas and, bizarrely, advertises banting breakfasts for the cretins who would subject themselves to the hell of eating there but not smacking the pastries.Chartwell Drive, Umhlanga Rocks. Telephone 031-561-6593Essential InfoWhen to goBetween 7am and 9pm, Monday to Sunday.Whom to takeHungry friends and family.What not to doLeave without having a pastry.What to drinkCappuccinos looked good.Whatever you doSave space for the almond friand.How much do you need?R81 for four pastries. A flat white is R18...