Oh my hat! How to get a head start

17 September 2015 - 02:11 By Dylan Muhlenberg

The type of hat you wear says a lot about you. Things like: "I'm a cop!", "I'm a fireman!", "I'm a cowboy!" - and, in the case of those beer-dispensing hats, "I'm a fun guy who can drink two beers at the same time while freeing up my hands to give passers-by the finger-pistols!"For those of us who are not a Lego figurine, a hat is the best way to finish off an outfit. It's also something that will send out a message to the world quicker than your personality can.THE BUCKET HATCool if you're fishing. Fine if you're a rapper. But, if you're adept at neither of these timeless pursuits then you're just another poser who's ruining this hat for rappers and fishermen.Comfort: Like slipping into a warm bath.Celebrity Endorsement: Earl Sweatshirt.Practicality: The bucket hat provides protection for the ears, neck, nose, and eyes. In a pinch it can also be used to carry things.Best worn with: Patterned button-up shirt, with the top button done.Shade: Gazebo.THE FIVE PANELThis hat has been seen everywhere and on everyone for years now. Made up from five pieces of fabric, each cut specifically for where it will fit, the five-panel is well-fitted and super-comfy.Comfort: A glove, but for your head.Celebrity Endorsement: Okmalumkoolkat.Practicality: Ups your streetwear game considerably.Best worn with: Swag.Shade: A summertime essential.THE SIX PANELThe hat of the moment and those who know, know. Six is the devil's number, and the devil is in the detail, which in this case is a six-panel design modelled on retro baseball hats.Comfort: Hot water bottle.Celebrity Endorsement: Mat Kieser.Practicality: A smarter version of the curved brim cap.Best worn with: Sol-Sol, Carhartt and other workwear-inspired brands.Shade: Standing under the bleachers.THE SNAPBACKThe snapback is still ubiquitous. Don't worry about blending in though - there's myriad ways of wearing these: Over a do-rag, backwards, sideways, price tag attached, gold foil sticker. Frat bros and mallrats attempted to kill the Snapback's vibe, but it's shown grit by keeping its cool despite this.Comfort: Jeans with sag.Celebrity Endorsement: Jay Z.Practicality: Obscures red eyes when worn low and adds height when you need to intimidate others.Best worn with: Crisp white sneakers.Shade: Subtweets and diss tracks.THE NEWSBOY CAPYou're Irish, a street urchin selling newspapers dated 1920, a dude without the confidence to wear a fedora, or you're bald, or you're Brad Pitt.Comfort: Jogger pants.Celebrity Endorsement: Brad Pitt.Practicality: A smarter hat option, which has the added benefit of keeping your head warm.Best worn with: A waistcoat.Shade: Umbrella.THE FEDORATread carefully here. Either you get glad eye from the type of girl who wouldn't usually give you a second glance, or you self-consciously carry around a head that you at least attempt to hold high as your mates crack Amish jokes. There's a difference between the type of guy who gets glad eye and the guy who gets mocked: confidence. Channel your inner rock star and you're cool, otherwise you have no business wearing this hat.Comfort: Bed of nails or bed of roses, it all depends on you.Celebrity Endorsement: Harry Styles.Practicality: Can make you look cooler than a polar bear's toenails.Best worn with: Stovepipes, brothel creepers, black.Shade: Solar eclipse.THE TRUCKERThis all depends on what you have on the front of yours. A John Deere logo is cool. Witty statements like, "My other ride is your mom" aren't.Comfort: Sipping cans of lager while sitting on the stoep.Celebrity Endorsement: Ashton Kutcher.Practicality: Shade up front and breezy at the back.Best worn with: Sleeveless flannel shirt.Shade: Truckers tan.Muhlenberg is the editor at Superbalist.com. To read the full article and buy the hats featured go to superbalist.com/thewayofus..

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