Cupid's arrow hurts like hell

03 May 2016 - 09:09 By WENDY KNOWLER

"Oh my word, oh my WORD!""Cherise"* kept repeating that, with increasing horror, as the awful realisation sank in. She'd lost not only R90000 but her "fiancé" and the promise of "true" love.It was all an illusion from the start. A con artist calling himself Alex Wilson, apparently living in London, made contact with her on the Badoo dating website and wooed her with "honey, baby" romantic messages for six months.He said his wife had died in a car crash and that he had a son. He promised to visit Cherise, a 40-year-old Cape Town schoolteacher, and he asked her for her ring size and wanted to send her "things".The only "things" she got were six months' of syrupy words. "Alex" told her he'd hidden some money in a gift parcel to her: £50,000."I'm so so sad," she began. "I need your help. My fiancé sent me a parcel from the UK. Then I received an e-mail from immigration services saying I need to pay R90,000 to have the parcel released. Now it wants another R80000. Help me please. What can I do? My hard-working fiancé's savings are in that parcel."Shortly after we began to talk, the truth hit home: "I feel sick. I don't know how I could be so stupid. I borrowed that money from my widowed aunt." Had he proposed to her? "Well, no."A Google search for online dating scams reveals that "Alex Wilson" has been pretty busy on dating sites.A Durban woman told In Your Corner that the number of scammers had risen alarmingly. In 2009 when she was new to cyber dating, she was flattered when a gorgeous-looking guy added her as a fan."But I soon began to notice patterns. For example, they are almost all Christian. They are all widowed, and in labour or some kind of construction."Their photos are almost always great looking, but somewhat formal, sometimes with sports photos taken from a distance." Their writing also tends to be very flowery and oily, always managing to work in the love of God and how humble they are."Dating sites work fantastically, in theory, she said, "but for the unsuspecting they can be a place where you lose your livelihood and lonely heart.*Not her real nameCONTACT WENDY:E-mail: consumer@knowler.co.zaTwitter: @wendyknowler HOW CAN YOU TELL?Whatever protection dating sites claim to offer, your most reliable protection is wising up to the signs yourself.According to malescammers.com, where for a fee online daters can check out a suspicious profile, name or photograph, these are some of the warning signs that a man is out to scam you, not romance you.Pictures of himself: watch out for pictures that look like celebrities or very beautiful men. They could be from a magazine.He won't say exactly where he works, or what his phone number is.He expresses his love for you within a few exchanges.He says he has money problems and wants to see you - all he needs a plane ticket. Whatever, he needs money to come see you...

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