The Northam dust bowl beckons once again. From August 5, thousands will converge on a brown patch of ground in Limpopo for the Oppikoppi music festival and a weekend of medieval hygiene standards. But discomfort doesn't have to be your "Oppi" experience. This year's bash will feature a selection of tent hotels designed for revellers who don't fancy sleeping in an uncomfortable nylon womb.A tent hotel is a collection of tents that have been kitted out with all kinds of creature comforts. Like blessers, there are levels to the tent hotels.Accommodation at the Harambee Hotel, the Ritz-Carlton of tent hotels, comes with gourmet breakfasts, a private VIP bar, hot water ablution and plugs. This might sound unimpressive to your posh grandmother, but having hot water on hand at a festival is like walking around with the fountain of youth and will significantly increase your chances of luring a mate back to your tent.The Klein Windhoek Hotel and the Kreef Hotel are a little more utilitarian, offering just enough creature comforts to keep you sane but not so many that you start developing airs.Depending on what you pay for, you can get anything from pillows and hot water to a mattress and a convenient parking space.So, if you had wanted to go to Oppikoppi this year but found yourself put off by the thought of becoming a member of the unwashed masses, then grab a few extra rands from your piggy bank and prepare for a restful weekend in the dusty lap of Northam's luxury.Oppi-doppieat OppikoppiDue to pesky legislative entanglements, last year's Oppikoppi beer drone delivery system has been scrapped. The flying drones delivered beer to thirsty revellers anywhere in the festival grounds. Not to be thwarted by legal banalities, the organisers had a rethink and have come up with the Northam Alcohol Re-Plenishment Association, code-named the Narpa Challenge.In their quest to quench thirsts they have issued a challenge to festivalgoers to create a semi-autonomous vehicle to deliver six-packs of dopfrom randomly chosen spots at Oppikoppi to randomly chosen fans at the festival.The vehicle, which must be built at the festival, has to be made primarily of wire and beer cans. It can be no bigger than 75cm in any direction, is required to carry at least a six-pack and must be able to leave from a fixed point determined by the festival organisers and rendezvous at a randomly selected end point.The creators of the best beer delivery vehicle win a case of Windhoek Lager per month for a year and tickets to Oppikoppi 2017. - Yolisa MkeleTo enter, e-mail info@oppikoppi.co.zaOPPIKOPPI IN COMFORTThis is what life in a tented hotel is likely to set you back:Harambee Hotel: R4450 nets you a tent that comfortably sleeps two people and includes breakfast, a bed with bedding, a plug, towels and a VIP bar and lounge.Klein Windhoek Hotel: For between R2200 and R4400 you get most of the perks of the Harambee Hotel as well as convenient parking.Kreef Hotel: Between R2900 and R5100 can get you and potentially three friends a well-sized tent replete with a bed of some variety (perhaps a sleeping bag), hot water, pillows, a camp-light and breakfast.The prices do not include a festival ticket. For more information visit www.oppikoppi.co.za..