Poor man's soccer circus rolling into town African style

TSAMAYA was gobsmacked to learn that an animal called African Football Executive Confex exists. It will take place in Johannesburg between April 18-20, 2012.

The organisers were delighted to announce that Danny Jordaan has confirmed his participation as a speaker. We suspect Confex is the poor man's Soccerex, that money-making scheme which has moved its circus to Brazil. While they serve caviar and champagne at Soccerex, delegates at Confex will not follow those Eurocentric tendencies. They will proudly nibble on mopani worms and wash it down with sorghum beer.

KAIZER Chiefs coach Vladimir Vermezovic says that South African soccer journalists do not understand tactics. Our beleaguered buddy from the Balkans told a journo that he only discusses tactics with people who understand them. Tsamaya reckons the one tactic "Vladdafi" should learn as a matter of urgency is meandering his way out of Mount Naturena, taking a short right onto the concrete highway and following the signs to OR Tambo International Airport. Why? It's obvious!

WE understand that we're heading into the period of mince pies and turkey stuffing, but we were a little nonplussed to see a photograph of Golden Arrows' Collins Mbesuma recently. Look, Collins is a big boy anyway, but we couldn't help but thinking here was SA football's very first Christmas pudding. We know that Zambia have qualified for next year's Afcon, but we don't think the national side are going to take too kindly to old thunder thighs' appearance. Maybe Santa should bring Mbesuma a book on dieting?

FORMER Mamelodi Sundowns supporters entertainer and motormouth disc jockey Sammy Fever emerged from under a rock this week and will be an MC at some street bash in the North West during the festive season. We haven't seen or heard from our mate since he scooted out of the Brazilians camp in a huff.

THOSE meatheads who broke into Shakes Mashaba's house do not know who they are dealing with. They probably haven't been up close and personal with the under-23 coach who has thighs as big a baobab tree and fists the size of watermelons. Mashaba will be looking for them when he comes back from national duty in Morocco. The only thing we would have wanted them to steal was Mashaba's sulky ways when things do not go his way.

MAMELODI Sundowns enfant terrible Innocent "Mellowwood" Mdledle is working very hard to emulate Ngwana wa Tshwenya Jabu Pule. Mdledle has been sent to train with the reserve team after he failed to pitch for a training session last Saturday. "The players had been given the day off on Friday and had to report for a work-out on Saturday morning. He did not answer his phone when team manager called him," said technical head Trott Moloto. Mdledle is also facing a drunk-driving charge after he was arrested in Sunnyside for allegedly driving his GTi into oncoming traffic while he was sloshed.