Juju man's brew does the job for the wrong side

18 March 2012 - 02:17 By Tsamaya

SANGOMAS and SA football go together like Lady Gaga and raw meat.

If it's not Bafana Bafana's tribulations stemming from an unpaid witch doctor, it is lower-division clubs putting their faith in the juju men. A practitioner placed his muti in the wrong change room last week and scuppered what chances SAB League side Vardos FC had in their Nedbank Cup game against First Division United FC. Bare-knuckle sandwiches were almost traded and the voodoo whiz looked silly after David Radebe scored a hat trick for United in a 3-1 win. A case of bad medicine, really.

SAFA president Kirsten "Indeed" Nematandani really is living on another planet. He was quoted as saying "Bafana must do well and get to the finals of the 2013 Africa Cup of Nations and actually win it. The worst-case scenario will be to reach the final and not win the cup. We need a team to get to the final and, as Safa, we would love to see our team in the final." Let's hope the entire Safa leadership resign if we don't do that - but it's rather like expecting Louis Farrakhan to ditch Islam.

QATAR football officials have revealed the Gulf nation may not allow alcohol inside stadiums at the 2022 World Cup. Qatari World Cup organisers and Fifa officials are discussing the matter after Brazil agreed to allow alcohol in stadiums for the 2014 World Cup, despite it being against Brazilian law, in an attempt to cut fan violence. What are the beer-guzzling German and English fans going to drink - pineapple smoothies or Ultramel custard?

ORLANDO Pirates caretaker coach August Palacios got a baptism of fire midweek when his side were made to walk the plank by Santos, who pasted them 3-0 on Wednesday. During the post-match interview, Palacios looked ashen, like he had just escaped from a mugging at a dingy Quartz Street joint in Hillbrow. He was unkempt, the collar of his shirt disappearing underneath his jacket and the cross of his rosary clumsily stuck on the side of his neck. What happens when he gets to play a league decider, we wonder?

NEW 2013 Africa Cup of Nations CEO Mvuzo Mbebe did not get off to the best start when he showed up 53 minutes late for the breakfast at the Sandton Sun where he was to be officially introduced. "As we all know, in football the game starts at three, it doesn't start at quarter-to-four," he said as part of an admittedly sincere apology. "It will start at three [during the Nations Cup]." We certainly hope so, Mr Mbebe.

WE have no axe to grind with television commentator, Kevin Evans, but couldn't help noticing his moegoe moment on Tuesday night. Commentating on the drawn PSL game between Mamelodi Sundowns and Bidvest Wits, Evans said: "The shares have been spoiled here at Loftus Versveld." Maybe Evans is a stockbroker by day or maybe he got his tongue twisted, we're not sure. We suspect what he really wanted to say was: "The spoils have been shared." But at least he got the score right.