Caught feelings for Mapimpi? Here's how to break-up with your celeb crush

We've all had the joy of crushing on a celebrity. Whether it was young ladies who thought they would be the next Diana and marry Prince William or many of the young men who tuned into Generations to gawk at Mmabatho Montsho. 

Nearly breaking the internet, the news of Springbok Makazole Mapimpi being betrothed and expecting a baby, came as a shock to many of his female fans. Especially those who took a shine to the rising star who has been on fashion magazine covers and made TV appearances.

But who will blame them, as stars have often descended from the A-list to catch Cupid’s arrow in the hands of waiting fans? Acrimony star, Taraji P Henson, famously dated a star-struck fan but broke up with him as he was too enamoured with her screen persona. Steve Harvey is now chasing 17 years of marriage after spotting his partner when she arrived late at one of his stand-up acts. Grey's Anatomy heart-throb, Patrick Dempsey famously wed his hairdresser of three years.

Mapimpi would be especially swoon-worthy, thanks to the Chasing the Sun documentary when a teary-eyed Rassie Erasmus would relay the tale of how Mapimpi had no living family to honour on his rugby jersey.

“Acknowledgment and acceptance are important first steps in the healing process. Crushes are normal, even ones on people you know you’d never pursue,” says therapist Kim Egel.

While she understands the reality of harbouring feelings for a love that will never happen, she warns that it can get out of control because of how many people idealise their crushes. “Looking truthfully at the reality of the situation, is essential for moving forward.”

Like any other crush, this also calls for grieving the relationship that never was. Egel suggests sitting with the emotions you feel, especially for long-lived crushes. She also suggests talking about it — a step seen by many who have taken to social media to air their grievances “It’s tempting to look at a crush’s recent photos or see if they’re dating anyone. But once they turn you down or you decide not to pursue them, it’s best to limit your digital involvement,” she says.

“Staying digitally connected to a crush through Facebook or Instagram can, accordingly, worsen feelings of sadness about missing out on a life with them. You don’t need to take permanent action, such as unfriending or blocking them, but it can help to unfollow,” Egel suggests, adding it can help avoid snooping on their new relationship or posting items meant to attract their attention.

Integrative Psychology also recognises celebrity crushes as perfectly harmless but can get out of hand when unchecked. “This phenomenon has several implications — both positive and negative — on an individual's mental and emotional wellbeing, as well as their relationships and self-esteem.”

Celebrity crushes can also affect people's relationships when unchecked. Psychology Today published a piece on a study that looked at a link between celebrity worship and toxic behaviours, “including problematic internet use, a desire for fame and maladaptive daydreaming”.

Author and media commentator Wendy L Patrick advised in Psychology Today that while i’s innocuous when someone obsesses over a public figure, it may have unintended adverse emotional consequences. “Spending time focusing on or fantasising about unrealistic prospective partners, is time that is much better spent nurturing and developing healthy (real) relationships.”

Better Help suggests the following tips to get over an obsessive crush:

1. Try not to avoid your crush
2. Stay busy to start getting over a crush 
3. Confide in your loved ones about how to get over a crush
4. Question yourself about the origin of this crush
5. Give yourself a chance to grieve
6. Stop following them on social media platforms
7. Open yourself up to dating after unrequited love.