Don’t be fooled by JLo’s rocks, post break-up glow up can be bad for you

We've seen it play out in Hollywood before when stars take to red carpets and social media to exact revenge with a jaw-dropping outfit or new sense of style. From Princess Diana to Mariah Carey, revenge dressing has become an art form. But what happens when one dress is not enough to shut up your ex and leave them with regret?

This is what we are seeing with Jennifer Lopez after the rollercoaster ride that has been her break-up with actor and director Ben Affleck.

The star took to the premiere of her recent movie Unstoppable in a revealing mirror ball couture dress.

While many have praised her looks and the possibility of trying out revenge dressing and her recent “glow up” (a makeover either through clothing or weight change), the star, like many others, is using it to empower herself as she moves on from a bad relationship.

“Revenge dressing is merely a fantasy of power,” said psychotherapist Gemma Grainger.

She warned it does not bring the intended results.

“Because you are doing this for another person, the power is not in your hands and it’s also not within you. It highlights your own lack of security in yourself.”

Explaining the behavioural shift, psychologist Dr Graham Hole said some people take on drastic changes after a break-up due to a need to assert control. Since we have no fixed control over our feelings, we hone in on the few things we can control and that is our looks.

The phenomenon is linked to mood enhancement dressing or dopamine dressing, which gives your mood a much-needed boost. This was seen in how Princess Diana rocked a strapless black number that broke all royal protocols.

“She probably felt so controlled, like she was in a figurative prison, so the dress was a way to break out of that,” said fashion psychologist Dawn Karen.

Break-ups are not only the feeling of your heart being shattered, it's also the loss of a habit that leaves many seeking validation.

Therapist Anchal Narang explained this as people looking for something to fill their time.

“They fixate on dieting and exercise to avoid difficult emotions and thoughts. They channel their hurt and/or betrayal into burning and counting calories.”

This is specially the case with revenge bodies.

Narang believes “it is likely to crash at some point” as motivations are led purely by rubbing the results of the change in an ex's face. 

“If the focus is only on your wellbeing, it can be rewarding because there is nothing better than to feel and look your best and gain control over your life. Any form of exercise pumps loads of endorphins into the blood, which energises your body and mind,” said Gaurav Molri, an online fitness coach. 

“I encourage my clients to build a morning routine and go for a daily walk to clear their mind and grab fresh air,” Molri told GQ.

For those who struggle with making the time to get to gym, he suggested finding activities that are fulfilling.