The A-Z of 'Housewives' lingo to get you ready for Durban’s spicy return

For 20 years, the Real Housewives franchise has captivated reality TV audiences one catfight at a time. From Dallas to Melbourne, the cast and crew have been embroiled in the salacious lives of the quarrelsome men and women, including local shores with the highly favoured Durban Housewives.

Now in its fifth season, RHOD as it is affectionately nicknamed, brings more drama with new cast mates and seasoned stars who have garnered international acclaim. And much like Marvel's multiverse, the housewives are all interlinked with the same drama and terminology. We take a look back at catchphrase queens like Nene Leakes and formidable forces like Bethenny Frankel who have not only made memorable moments but contributed to today's lexicon.

APE HAIRLINE

Starting on a darker note, the offensive remark was made by RHOD cast member Zama Nkosi who had allegedly said it to the show's matriarch, Sorisha Naidoo. The racially insensitive remark compared Naidoo to a monkey and caused a rift between the pair. It also brought attention to the derogatory remark used against Indian people.

BEFORE IPHUMA

Pretty straightforward, the line translates to “before it comes out” and is taken from Real Housewives of Cape Town cast member Rooksy Gqirana. It is used mostly on social media whenever someone speaks out about a topic or secret they felt compelled to share so that they do not suffer the consequences of being silent about it.

BONE COLLECTOR

The term was made famous on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. It was coined in reference to season 1 alma mater Sheree Whitfield, who constantly obtained information and gossip on other cast members. The term originates from the 1999 movie of the same name, which follows two detectives who hunt down a serial killer. The movie stars Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie.

BOUGHETTO

During her tenure as one of Atlanta's peaches, Phaedra Parks would host elaborate parties. On her first season of the show, Parks hosted a Southern Belle-style baby shower in a Grecian-inspired outfit which cast mate and former BFF Kandi Burris described as boughetto (bourgeoisie and ghetto). Speaking to Essence magazine, Burrus explained that it was a term of endearment for someone who behaved or dressed a little “extra”, a definition closely matching camp.

CLASSY PARTY

In the earlier days of Twitter and Facebook virility, Briana Culberson (daughter of Real Housewives of Orange County star Vicki Gunvalson) would hit internet fame when one of the very first fights in the franchise transpired. Originally, the series took on a documentary-style approach but would turn to the relationships between the women which saw Jeana Keogh and Tamra Judge involved in a physical altercation to which Culberson reacted: “Oh my God, I thought this was a classy party?” This has since become a meme still being used to this day when social media users observe an argument online.

COLOURISM

While racism and sexism might dominate some seasons of the franchise, the ladies from the Potomac chapter have consistently battled with one defining issue in their TV friendship — colourist. The issue has been raised and dealt with multiple times since midseason 1 and still caused tensions in its recent sixth season.

FIX IT, JESUS

The term is used when noticing a rift between two or more people in hopes that they can make amends. It was coined by Phaedra while watching longtime besties Cynthia Bailey and Nene fail to find a resolution in a season six rift.

FINANCIALLY OVERSTRETCHED

Back on the coast, Slee Ndlovu nearly broke the internet when she tried to explain her financial issues to her cast mates who started to gossip about her money problems. While Slee used the term to define the tight limitations on her spending, it is now used synonymously with being broke.

FRIEND OF THE SHOW

While fictional TV shows use the term guest star or guest appearance, the role of a recurring cast mate who does not have lead star billing in the Housewives universe is called a “friend of the show”. Several reality shows have adopted the term also using it interchangeably for someone who is a fan of a show.

GONE WITH THE WIND FABULOUS

The catchphrase catapulted Kenya into an overnight viral sensation. After being attacked for her age, Kenya references the 1939 classic Gone with the Wind, to reaffirm herself during an argument. This would also include a series of twirls as she exited the scene of the fight, which she later used as a lyric in the franchise's first ever diss track of the same name. While the song did nothing for her music career, the quip would be referenced by Beyoncé in a flash interview and the lead single from her Grammy-winning album Lemonade titled Formation.

GATE

The show would also popularise the use of the suffix when referring to storylines or arcs in the series. Some memorable examples include puppygate (Dorit Kemsley giving away a rescue dog in Beverly Hills), rapegate (Atlanta, where Kandi Buruss was wrongfully accused of rape, see “The lies, the lies, the lies”) and bowgate/cakegate (the mystery of a guest that ate the bow on the cake at Heather Dubrow's wedding in Orange County).

GUSBAND

A contentious term that is also used throughout the Housewives universe, referring to male friends of the main cast. Combining gay and husband, it refers to homosexual friends kept by the women who often partake in the drama or are the chief members of their glam squads. In the fourth season of the Durban series, the cast hosted a Gusbands and Wives party.

JOGGERS (SEPTEMBER, SPRING/SUMMER)

After failing to launch a fashion line She by Sheree in her Atlanta Housewive's debut season, Sheree was ridiculed for hosting a “fashion show without fashions”. The comments would haunt her until she decided to announce she would be relaunching in season ten. When the host of the reunion episode asked about the fate of She by Sheree, she nervously answered “joggers” and glibly added it would be released in the “spring/summer” fashion season in September.

“Joggers” sometimes with “September, spring/summer” is used ironically in conversations about trendy clothing.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE HUSBAND

Another phrase popularly used on social media, “let's talk about the husband” is said when referring to someone wanting to point out a topic someone does not want to discuss. This was birthed by Beverly Hills cast member, Kim Richards who poked at Lisa Rinna's personal life during the show's revered dinner in Amsterdam.

MABUSI VIBES

While the true definition has morphed over the years, one thing remains about “Mabusi vibes” — they're not always good.

Nonku landed in hot water after saying a fellow star had “Mabusi vibes” as a remark putting down friend of the show, Mabusi Sema whom she had a conflict with. The term is typically used to refer to someone you do not like, but Mabusi has since reclaimed it with a T-shirt brand.

PATHETICAL LIAR

No, you are not having a seizure, the word for sympathy was mispronounced during a confessional by Johannesburg housewife Evodia Mogase. Attempting to call her quirky cast mate Christall Kay out for another odd assertion, she mispronounced “pathological liar” and has since inspired many to continue using the term, specifically on digital platforms.

PUPPET MASTER

Every hive needs a queen be and when it comes to real housewives, they're not met with adulation but scorn instead. First uttered in the streets of Orange County, puppet masters in the franchise refer to ring leaders of the cliques that form in the different shows.

REALITY TV UNION

Sparked in 2023 by former New York queen bee Bethanny Frankel, the reality star took to Instagram to question why other stars of the genre were not participating in the 2023 SAG-AFTRA writer's Strike. The popularity of shows like Real Housewives was spurred on by how inexpensive they are to film, which was a remedy to the 2007 strike. And while they make great profits for studios, those residuals never return to the stars in front of the camera. The matter is still ongoing in 2025.

RECEIPTS (PROOF, TIMELINE, SCREENSHOTS)

While the term “receipts” originates from the drag community where someone must prove a claim with physical evidence, it got a complete revival in the franchise after a Gossip Girl style blogger, Monica Garcia, infiltrated the Salt Lake City cast. Monica spent years tormenting the cast under the social media account Reality von Tease. When she joined them as a main cast member in their fourth season, the truth was revealed in theatrical fashion with long-time cast member Heather Gay claiming she knows she's revealed her lies with the “perfect formula” which includes “receipts, proof, timeline, screenshots”. The episode's popularity renewed interest in the spin-off. Now, compared to the Last Supper, the moment has seen countless remakes by celebrities and drag queens.

SHADE

Another queer term, shade or “throwing shade” and “being shady” refers to someone making fun of you. This goes hand in hand with a read, and dragging [to filth] which happens when someone makes a drawn-out attack on your character.

SHE NEEDS A STORYLINE

Speaking of reads, Phaedra would unleash one of the most recognised in season six. Referring to Kenya needing drama as needing a storyline, which would become a staple for the Atlanta ladies and a few other franchises, Phaedra's cutting words to Kenya would continue to be internet fodder even today with TikTok's reimagining the song as a punk rock anthem.

STAY OUT OF WOMEN'S BUSINESS

The phrase, though popularised by Nene on Atlanta, was already used heavily in African American communities with a trans and homophobic history. Nene would land in hot water for the comment after saying it to her best friend's husband Peter (calling him feminine expletives and referring to him as Patricia) it would experience a recontextualisation on the web where it was used against sexist or misogynistic men.

THE BLOGS/THE STREETS

The two interchangeable terms were popularised by Kandi's mother when revealing gossip she heard on the grapevine (the streets). 'The blogs' is used in the same context but refers directly to online gossip sources that often discuss the women's personal lives.

THE LIES, THE LIES, THE LIES

In an explosive scene from the series, Kandi and Phaedra's friendship is decimated when she finds out the latter spread a rumour about her wanting to drug rape cast member Porsha. The season-long drama unravelled to teary outbursts and Kandi yelling at her “the lies, the lies!”

While the conclusion of rapegate was emotional, the phrase has been used in a similar dramatic tone when pointing out fallacies or discrepancies. 

TURTLE TIME

While New York favourite Ramona Singer is known for her brash personality, it's her love for turtle time that's made her a fan favourite. Simply put, it's a term used when someone wants to have a good time and party and since it's a Ramoni-ism, you're probably doing it wrong if you don't have some Pinot Grigio.

WHITE REFRIGERATOR/THE GHETTO

When it comes to Nene's viral moments, her tone and delivery has often created the fanfare behind her. In a scene visiting Kenya in her debut season, she is grossed out by “the ghetto” which she expresses hysterically. The phrase would be used in conjunction with “white refrigerator” after Nene commented on it, suggesting that white refrigerators were a sign of poverty.

The phrase is never used disparagingly but has been the chosen form of friendly shade when trying to call someone tacky or express dislike for being in a low-income neighbourhood or an undesirable situation. The shot of her shoes as she climbs out of her car has also been referenced with the heeled sandal emoji.

WHO SAID DAT?

In the build up of rapegate's explosive conclusion, Real Housewives of Atlanta friend of show Marlo Hampton asked Kandi about rumours that she was a lesbian — a rumour kick-started by Porsha and Phaedra. The pair would act dumb with many of the ladies asking “who said that?” resulting in many of them in a fit of giggles due to the childishness of the whole scenario. This is often used in lighthearted conversations when someone pretends they don't know who said something.

WOMAN YELLING AT A CAT

While many of the social media catchphrases are typically typed out or reuse the spoken words as sound bites, Beverly Hills former housewife Taylor Armstrong would become forever cemented as a meme instead. The image creates the illusion of Taylor arguing with a cat called Smudge. Meme users create a scenario where Taylor is in deep disagreement with the bemused cat. The meme is still used to this day and has been cited as an example of the powerful impact Real Housewives has.