LEBOGANG MOKOENA | Is baldness to men what menopause is to women?

A look at the wounded egos of those struggling with it

11 April 2025 - 11:17
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The good, the bad and the hair-raising journey of male self-esteem. File photo.
The good, the bad and the hair-raising journey of male self-esteem. File photo.
Image: 123RF/peopleimages12

A few months ago I decided to grow my hair. This has been years in the making and I have to say I timed it perfectly.

While I expected my wife to protest the impending loss of my smooth cranium, which she vehemently did, her reaction once the transformation was complete was amazement about why I parted with my hair in the first place. 

Why did I grow my hair? While I could lie and regale you with tales about finding my inner Steve Biko, or that growing my hair is some form of social commentary in the black hair debate, I am not that smart, nor am I that political.   

The real reason is as immature as it is petty. I grew my hair to spite the balding misfits I count among my dearest friends. When huddled together, you would be forgiven for thinking we were a tray of eggs which have grown legs and decided to go on a walkabout. This had to stop.  

I’m ashamed to say, but Jack Donaghy (played by Alec Baldwin) was correct on NBC’s 30 Rock when he said “your hair is your head suit”, and this suit of mine has brought me compliments, discouraged commiserations and made me look 10 years younger. 

What is it about men and hair? What is it about race and hair for men? 

Alec Baldwin in a scene on '30 Rock'.
Alec Baldwin in a scene on '30 Rock'.
Image: Bryan Bedder/Getty Images
Self-proclaimed prophet Brother Enigma.
Self-proclaimed prophet Brother Enigma.
Image: Screenshot/ Chris Network/ YouTube

I decided to veer into what turns out to be a very emotional and interesting journey of hair loss among men. A female colleague recently said baldness is to men what menopause is to women — a statement which, when I shared, was met with steely condemnation.  

I always knew male pattern baldness is devastating for some men. I say some because many of us grew up with clean, shaved heads. A bald head, or chiskop as it is known, is regarded as the most masculine hairstyle among black men. Men with bald heads are regarded as cleaner, more professional and more assertive. 

I have come to appreciate that the above is true when it is a style choice. Choosing to shave your hair and shaving your hair because you are balding are as different as an Orlando Pirates and a Kaizer Chiefs supporter. The former being the well-groomed, assertive and professional, the latter being, well, a Kaizer Chiefs supporter. However, both are giants — it only depends who you speak to.  

Some criticise the bald head and label it as a white man’s preferred hairstyle for blacks. Scholars have written extensively about black hair, with some researchers dating the bald head back to slavery indoctrination.  

While Brother Enigma, the self-styled messenger of God who hallucinates doctrine and spews nonsense, said men with hairstyles will not see heaven, balding men will do anything to do away with male pattern baldness. From trying miracle creams to the comb-over, drinking horsetail and blaming your mother’s father (apparently it’s your maternal grandfather’s genes that determine your hair’s fate), men do anything to fight a receding hairline.   

My white friends cringe at the slightest indication of losing hair. It’s like a piece of them dies when the bald spot rears its ugly head. Confidence wanes and they start doing the dreaded comb-over and are wary of high winds. It’s all not necessary. Wear it with pride, be like Larry David and embrace it. Don’t be a Donald Trump and make the world pay. 

To all those struggling to come to grips with male pattern boldness, I suggest you take a trip to any township. Make sure you get there before noon and marvel at the hordes of makeshift salons on every corner. You will realise a bald head is not so bad. If anything it’s a sure way to get your confidence up. 


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