Tshepo Miya speaks about being ‘Married at First Sight’

As one of eight contestants on the second season of Married at First Sight South Africa, Tshepo Miya has had many glued to the screen watching his tense entanglement, especially after the recent cast trip.

Sharing that he joined the show due to traditional means not working for him, we caught up with Miya for insight into his time on the show, his relationship with his wife and more.

What went through your mind when you first saw your wife Palesa Mphaki?

So many things went through my mind. However, I was hopeful.

How did you prepare yourself mentally for the experiment?

One can never be fully prepared. You need to take it as it comes, but I did have a long conversation with my therapist ahead of time to make sure I am doing this.

What advice did your therapist give you? 

My therapist advised me that shows like this will bring different people and you should always remember what you can be in control of and leave the things you cannot control.

When did you first notice cracks in your marriage?

The cracks began during the honeymoon phase when my wife asked me not to communicate directly with women in production, and said I should rather redirect them to her for information or requirements. I found that strange as we were getting to know each other and that kind of behaviour did raise eyebrows.

Viewers have seen highs and lows in your marriage over the past two weeks. What do you think caused the conflict?

Our conflict came from that front of camera image that we or I was supposed to adhere to, as I explained in a previous episode. During the day, outside shooting, there were issues I would raise, but I would be told by my wife that we need to “nip them in the bud” and ensure we appear OK as much as possible. My issue is that I cannot pretend. If I’m not OK, then I am not OK.

What is the issue between you and Makoto Phumodi?

My issue came from a few off-screen runs ins and mostly from the conflict she had with Nkululeko Mahlangu. I have never wanted to surround myself with unruly people who, even around other people, are able to say whatever they want without showing some kind of respect, not only for their partner, but for us too.

The 'husbands', as we have dubbed ourselves, have been there for one another since the bachelor party. We have been a great outlet for each one of us. The brotherhood that has come from that has been incredible, and I appreciate that

What has the experience taught you about yourself?

I have learnt I have tougher skin than I thought. This has taught me people will always form some kind of opinion about you, good or bad, and the only thing you can do is to continue showing up as yourself and continue being the best version for those who wish to experience you in person.

What has it been like watching yourself on TV?

It has come with some mixed emotions, and while I have taken a lot of online bullying and assumptions, I am comforted by those who know me, including support from the gents. It’s been an amazing brotherhood we have developed. It has helped each of us navigate through some hard episodes every week and I never take that for granted.

How are things between you and the rest of the cast?

You have to watch the show to see how things are between my wife and myself, but the “husbands”, as we have dubbed ourselves, have been there for one another since the bachelor party. We have been a great outlet for each one of us. The brotherhood that has come from that has been incredible, and I appreciate that.  

What advice do you have for anyone who wants to join the show next season?

Be prepared for anything. Not all that glitters is gold, so do it for the right reasons. Trust your gut instincts and never depart from who you are.