When I first started thinking about writing Falling Forward, I thought I might self-publish it. My plan was ambitious — perhaps slightly unrealistic — but at the time it made perfect sense to me. I imagined having the book printed and ready in time for the very first Falling Forward roadshow event in my hometown of Makhanda on March 4. It felt symbolic — launching the book about falling forward in the place where so much of my story began and was lived out.
Then I met Andrea Nattrass from Pan Macmillan.
I remember sitting in that first meeting feeling confident about my plan. I explained how I wanted to do the roadshow and have the books ready for sale at the events. Andrea was incredibly gracious. She didn’t dismiss the idea at all. Instead, she said: “I think that’s amazing that you’re considering doing that. But here are a few things you might want to think about.” She then began listing everything that goes into publishing a book: editing, design, distribution, printing timelines, marketing, legal processes, logistics I hadn’t even thought of yet. The list kept growing.
As she spoke, I remember feeling my stomach slowly sinking.
The Falling Forward roadshow team consists of two people and a bunch of beautiful volunteers. For the most part, it’s me and one other person. We already had an enormous amount on our plates, planning events across multiple cities, coordinating vendors, building the brand, filming the documentary, side work to pay bills, raising sponsorship, and somehow still showing up for our families and the rest of our work.
Falling is not the end of the story.
— Rachel Kolisi
Letting Pan Macmillan take the book into their hands was one of the best decisions I made in this entire process. Suddenly this part of the journey felt safe. It had structure, experience behind it, people who understood how to bring a story into the world properly, and a team who all genuinely shared the same vision as I do to make an impact in other people’s lives.
Not long after that meeting, I travelled to Johannesburg to meet Zibu Sithole in person for the first time. We sat around a table with the team and began talking, not just about the book, but about the idea of “falling forward” itself. Everyone in that room had their own experiences of hardship, resilience and starting again. It quickly became clear that this book wasn’t just about telling my story. It was about opening a conversation that many people are quietly living through.
What followed was an intense few months of interviews. I think Zibu and I recorded many, many hours of conversation, often at the most random times imaginable. Life doesn’t pause for book writing, especially not for two single moms.
Some interviews happened while I was away with my children. I would ask them to hang out for a couple of hours while I stepped into another room to record. Some happened in cars, some in borrowed bedrooms, some even in public bathrooms when that was the only quiet space available.
It was far from glamorous.
Because the truth is that this book was written in the middle of real life — parenting, work, therapy, travel, and the complicated process of rebuilding after seasons that change you. We worked right through December and January, non-stop, sending drafts back and forth, refining chapters, reliving difficult memories and sometimes laughing at moments that felt almost unbelievable in hindsight.
What surprised me most about writing this book was how much perspective time can give you. Some of the hardest moments of my life now sit beside moments of deep gratitude. Pain and joy exist together in ways I never expected. If there is one thing I hope readers take from this book, it is that falling is not the end of the story.
Sometimes falling is simply the moment right before you learn how to move forward again.
And if you’re lucky, you don’t have to do it alone.
- The Falling Forward Official Documentary Screening Experience is a national roadshow by Rachel Kolisi, touring South Africa in March and April 2026.
Falling Forward: For Every Woman Who’s Had to Begin Again by Rachel Kolisi with Zibu Sithole published by Pan MacMillan, available in bookstores.
