Hi, my name is Stuart Taylor, and I am a stand-up comedian, corporate speaker and producer of all things comedy-related. I’ve spent the past 20-odd years making people laugh on stage — and occasionally go “Aha!” when I deliver a keynote. My award-winning solo show Odd Man Out is playing at Theatre On The Square in Sandton this November — its final Johannesburg run (cue dramatic soundtrack)!
I would describe myself as “a traveller”. Many moons ago I hosted a travel show called Going Nowhere Slowly, which ignited my love for road trips where the journey was just as important as the destination — mainly because we often had no clue where the destination was.
Three words that describe my travel personality are “curious”, “easily lost” and “mildly overpacked”.
I grew up in Cape Town, and we would often go to Kimberley for our December holidays — disclaimer: my mom is from the Northern Cape, so it was less a glamorous holiday and more a compulsory family reunion in 40°C heat.
The thing I remember most about my childhood holidays is packing up on December 16, hitting the road in the middle of the night and gunning it for Kimberley. The night driving wasn’t because we were romantic or adventurous — it was to avoid frying to death in the Karoo in a car with no air conditioning. My dad would nap for a few hours after the last day of work, then drive straight through. Those summers felt like they lasted forever. Mostly because the trip did.
If I were showing a tourist around my hometown, Cape Town, I’d take them to the wine farms in Constantia (you’re not truly local until you’ve pretended to understand wine) and strolling in Kalk Bay. It’s quirky, coastal and full of artisanal sourdough. I’d also take them for a sunset cocktail at the Twelve Apostles. The views are so beautiful you’ll cry (plus bonus tears when you get the bill).
My favourite international city is Paris. It’s beautiful, moody and full of carbs.
My three must-dos in Paris are: 1) a cold beer on the steps of Sacré-Cœur as the sun sets (instant movie scene), 2) wandering along the Seine, pretending I’m in an indie film, 3) visiting the Louvre — because the rumour is, the password to get in is just, “Louvre”.
My worst travel experience was too many people trying to sell me random goods and services in Thailand. It was like being in a WhatsApp group you can’t leave — in person.
My first trip abroad was to Edinburgh. I was an emergency replacement for an act at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. The sun only set at 9pm, which completely freaked me out. My first show was at 8pm, but because it was still bright outside when I landed, I thought I had hours to prep. Meanwhile, I had 45 minutes. Jet lag + panic = sold-out show, thankfully.
My favourite hotel in the world is Hotel Sky in Cape Town (or Sandton). If you want the warmth of home while feeling like you’re in a mashup of Vegas and Sea Point — this is it.
My most difficult trip ever was my one night in the Richtersveld. It dropped to below zero overnight, and I wasn’t prepared — emotionally or thermally. It looked like the sort of place where they faked the moon landing. Breathtaking and brutal. Like a blind date with nature.
I am an adventurous eater when I travel. I once ate a mopani worm in Chobe. It was crunchy. And chewy. Like emotional trauma.
A memorable restaurant I ate in overseas was in Soho, London. I was a guest of the owner, who told the waiter, “Just bring them one of everything.” Nothing tastes better than free food in pounds.
The best place in the world for a night out is Lisbon. It’s like one giant house party, where the laughter spills onto the cobbled streets and strangers become besties — and then forget your name by morning.
The one thing I always make sure I do on holiday is find the best local coffee shop or dive bar to sample the local beer. Caffeine and craft lager: a balanced diet.
When travelling, I am a sucker for an all-inclusive bar tab. It’s the adult version of Christmas morning.
The country with the friendliest locals is Malawi. Truly the warmest people I’ve ever met. If they had a national currency of hugs, they’d be billionaires.
I found the locals tricky in Amsterdam. Or maybe that was just me … after accidentally visiting a coffee shop that didn’t serve coffee. Let’s just say, I’ve never been so lost inside a museum.
I’ve travelled solo in New York City and Edinburgh — both times to soak up comedy shows and the entertainment scene. Nothing beats wandering into a jazz club alone and pretending you’re mysterious instead of just jet-lagged.
My perfect holiday involves a beach, Wi-Fi and a cocktail list longer than the room-service menu.
My favourite museum is the Pompidou Centre in Paris. It’s all glass and attitude — like an art school student with great lighting.
My best holiday ever was Mauritius. You switch off the moment you arrive. It’s like therapy, with better weather and unlimited piña coladas.
One tourist attraction everyone should see before they die: Upington! I spent a week there one night.
My ultimate bucket list destination is the Maldives. Because let’s be honest — global warming says go soon or go scuba.
My plans for the December holidays include chilling on the West Coast. Maybe a quick escape to Zanzibar, depending on passport vibes and babysitter availability.
· Catch Stuart Taylor in his one-man show Odd Man Out at Theatre on the Square in Sandton from November 18 to 23. Tickets from R200 on Webtickets
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