New 2020 Datsun Go Five proves that a pig in lipstick is still a pig

It's been five years and a couple of months since the insipid and unsafe Datsun Go has been tempting uneducated first-time South African car buyers with the allure of cheap (although not so cheap anymore) mobility and touchscreen infotainment systems.

Scan the Datsun sales brochure and you'll be told how amazingly switched on this little hatchback is and how #connected you'll be zipping around the city in one with your Apple CarPlay/Android Auto syncing and your USB port charging. 

What you won't be told is how poorly this car performs in the unfortunate event of an accident and that even updates made to it along the way (ABS and airbags) have done little to address the inherent instability of the Go's bodyshell. Indeed, after conducting a crash test in 2014 Global NCAP described the latter as "unstable." 

Since then the loathsome Datsun Go continues to perform dismally in safety surveys and remains a car that any motoring scribe worth his or her salt would be wise not to recommend to readers - especially when something like an entry-level Volkswagen Up! (at R180,900) is now a mere R6,700 more expensive.

Yep, I wouldn't go (no pun intended) near one with your money and neither would my esteemed colleague Brenwin Naidu.

Anyway, I digress. The purpose of this article is to showcase the new limited-edition Datsun Go Five that's priced at R178,830. Why five? Well like I said at the beginning it's been five and a bit years since Datsun returned to SA. Hooray.

And to celebrate they've dolled-up a Go Mid with a boot spoiler and some random yellow accents on the radiator grille, wheels and doors. You also get yellow seatbelts and anti-fatigue seats reminiscent of those padded "massaging" seat covers you can buy at Game.

Unfortunately much like smearing a racy shade of rouge across the snout of a swine, no amount of garish cosmetic tinsel can make up for this car's fundamental shortcomings. The Datsun Go Five remains an unsafe and poorly built car that you'll do well to avoid.