1. YOU can't get beyond the main course in a restaurant before you get out your phone and instagram the duck confit. Because, frankly, a romantic meal for two isn't a romantic meal for two unless you have shared it with all your followers.
2. The first thing you do when you wake up is check how many times your witty comment from the night before has been retweeted or liked.
3. Your children catch you trying to post Facebook updates while reading their bedtime stories. You know it's seriously bad when you agree that you will pay them every time they bust you - and they buy an XBox with the proceeds.
4. You greet friends at a party by their Twitter handle. "Hey, @bobcat100, how are you?"
5. You cannot visit the lavatory without using the 23 available seconds to investigate how many people have liked your photo. Snapchatting a selfie while sitting on the loo is proof you have stopped understanding basic decent behaviour.
6. Brian from accounts, on a Monday morning, asks how was your weekend. And your first reaction is "What? did you not see all the amazeball photos I posted on Instagram?
7. You "like" your own updates on Facebook. You "favourite" your own tweets. Stop it. Now.
8. You "check in". All. The. Time.
9. The first thing you do on hearing that someone famous has died is go to Wiki and find the obscurest fact you can find about them for an update.
10. Someone tells you a joke, and instead of laughing out loud, you use the phrase "lol".
11. Watching The X-Factor your anxiety levels rise as you try to be the first to tweet: "Has Simon had too much work done?"
12. You use the phrase "hashtag" in normal conversations. #fail. Or rather "Hashtag fail" - ©The Daily Telegraph
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