NightLife: Beefcakes on stage and on your plate

08 January 2014 - 02:22 By Yolisa Mkele
MEAT GREET: A waiter serves a burger at Beefcakes
MEAT GREET: A waiter serves a burger at Beefcakes

Trapped between the bland black walls and glass fronts of the unremarkable restaurants at the Illovo Mews Centre in Johannesburg is a writhing, raucous mass of pink decor and scantily clad men. This bubbling cauldron of fabulousness is Beefcakes, arguably the wildest quiet night out you can have.

Beefcakes is a restaurant cum extravaganza with flamingo pink walls and decor inspired by South Beach Miami in the 1950s where staff cheekily judge the fashion sense of passersby. All the servers are ''beefcakes"- well- built men who begin the night in tank tops and end it topless on a table, with customers paying for the pleasure of using them like tequila glasses.

On any given evening there are various forms of entertainment, ranging from drag shows to Bitchy Bingo. I went on bingo night. A drag queen with razor sharp wit and her topless male assistant hosted the evening's festivities.

Bingo winners were required to get on stage and perform for prizes that ranged from bottles of champagne to raunchier treasures.

Complementing the entertainment is the food, notably the burgers, which are purported to be the best in the land.

At Beefcakes there is more than one way to eat a bun. You can choose from a preset menu of burgers or indulge your inner Heston Blumenthal by creating your own burger from a selection of meats and toppings.

Those with a thirst to quench are safe in the arms of a well-stocked bar that features an array of cocktails, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, and craft beer.

The milkshakes are tall, thick and diabetically diabolical .

Despite its proclivity for raunchiness, Beefcakes manages to straddle the bounds of good taste. The entire restaurant is infused with a vibrant and carefree atmosphere that can effectively be described as gay.

While it primarily caters to the pink crowd, Beefcakes is a riot for anyone (gay, straight or otherwise) who is keen on having a good night out with good food and colourful characters to entertain.

  • Illovo Muse Centre, 198 Oxford Road, Illovo, Sandton, 011-447-5266