Jean Blues: Denims make me cry

As a woman of substance - metaphorically and physically - looking for a pair of denim jeans that fits properly has been emotionally debilitating.

From the pair that's too small - but gets tried on because the shop assistant refuses to believe you can't fit into them - to the pair that is too big, or the pair that gives you plumber's butt, denim jeans still manage to make women feel like outsiders if we are not a certain shape.

Immune to seasonal trends , jeans are the epitome of streetwear and casual glamour.

From the time Saartjie Baartman and her ''protruding" buttocks left for England to be exhibited as an anthropological freak for curious folk in the Western world, the big butt has been a big deal.

Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian's (right) generous behinds shot to stardom before they did, and Beyoncé invented a whole new word honouring the curvaceous derrière - Bootylicious.

Yet with all the love that the voluptuous body shape's been receiving recently, and all the efforts that brands like Levi's, G Star RAW and Woolworths are making to create ranges to suit every shape, why is it that, for most women, the search for the perfect fit is still depressing?

I headed to the mall to find out.

"It's very hard to find jeans that fit my hips, waist and leg length perfectly," one shopper said.

"Most of the time it's an exercise in compromise. Sacrifice a snug fit in the waist area for the length or the hips, or vice versa."

Another said she feels for stretch before picking a pair to try on, and she tries them on in both her "thin and fat sizes".

The best response was from the woman who said: "I prefer shopping in the early morning so I can limit the emotional trauma to the first half of the day.

"Also you're skinnier in the morning."

I wish I'd followed her advice when I went looking for my dream outfit: a pair of slim cut denims, paired with a white vest and a pair of black heels.

I remember the day clearly - it was the first time I had ever had a stiff drink before 1pm.

I walked into the store and was greeted by a lovely shop assistant who seemed sympathetic to my "black girl can't find jeans that fit" woes as we laughed and talked about booties.

Five or more pairs later, the conversation went from ''babe, you must be a 28, I mean, look at you" to ''I don't think we go up to that size".

I walked out completely broken and proceeded to get another drink and think about going for a run.

• Thithi Nteta is a stylist and fashion blogger. Follow her on www.teeteeiswithme.com