The Big Read: There's a mouse in your pie? No worries - it's already cooked

A few days ago I found a small piece of bone in a Woolworths sausage roll and was immediately faced with two choices. The first was that I could remind myself that sausage rolls, like pies, are objects of faith. I eat them knowing nothing about what they contain. All I have is a mystical text, glued onto the side of the packet, which makes claims about cows or chickens I've never seen, and a general consensus among fellow-believers that I'm probably eating what I think I'm eating.