How do you talk about the death of a 14-year-old? Friend reveals father's pain

Jan Steyn, the father of Jandré, who died at Hoërskool Driehoek, told a friend the day before the tragedy that he had got a second chance at life after surviving three heart attacks in December last year.

"At that stage we had no idea that less than 24 hours later you would have to surrender one of your children to death," Pote van Rensburg said on Thursday during Jandré's funeral at the River of Life Family Church in Vanderbijlpark.

The two men had spoken the day before the tragedy at the school. On Friday February 1, the Steyn family was shattered by the loss of the 14-year-old, who was killed when a concrete walkway connecting two buildings at the school collapsed.

Van Rensburg is a family friend and a member of the Gauteng angling community. Jandré twice represented the province at under 19-level in angling.

"How do you talk about the death of a 14-year-old child? He’s barely started walking the path of life. Once you’ve turned grey like me, by grace, then you can write a book about your adventures, about everything you experienced.

"If it good things, or bad things or very bad things, at least you had the opportunity to write a book. That will never be allotted to Jandré. He probably only finished page one of his book of life," Van Rensburg said.

About 800 friends, family, pupils and others attended the emotional funeral.

The family, who asked that their privacy be respected, said in a message read by Pastor Armand Niemand that the pain of Jandré's loss was "indescribable".

"The deep, hurtful pain in our lives is indescribable. Jandré's absence in our lives is nearly unbearable. Around every corner we anticipate Jandré will appear at any moment with his beaming eyes and broad smile," parents Jan and Anzel said.

"Are we angry with God? No, we are not angry with God. The Lord blessed us with 14 wonderful years with Jandré.

"Jandré was just borrowed to us and we have peace with God's decision."

As the congregation sang, parents Jan and Anzel along with Jandré's sisters Sintichè and Jansihka huddled together, weeping metres away from Jandré coffin.

They carried his coffin along with Jandré's grandfather Gert Loots and grandmother Caro Steyn to the hearse. In the gazebo right behind the hearse, family members took turns to say their last goodbyes, throwing dried rose petals on the brown coffin with white roses on top, as mourners looked on.

When the hearse departed, pupils from various schools formed a guard of honour as pupils from Hoërskool Driehoek started singing their school song.

Four children died and 22 were injured in the structural collapse, which crushed some pupils. Steyn, Roydon Olckers and Marli Currie died at the scene. Marnus Nagel later died in hospital. One learner has been left paralysed.

Pastor Niemand encouraged the crowd to look through prism of their faith to see good might come from this tragedy. He drew parallels between Jandré’s death and the the hopelessness Jesus Christ’s disciples felt after he was crucified.

“The Saturday [after the tragedy] when I visited Jan and Anzel (Jandré parents), we socialised with the family and we prayed together...

“Around the table afterwards, I gave Jan a hug. I will never forget his words. He said to me: ‘Go home. Go hug your children. Go and love your family.’ And immediately the thought came to me: Good will come from the evil.“

“Jandré, ladies and gentlemen, is not dead. Jandré lives. Jandré inherited everlasting life.”

Niemand added: “This tragedy was not something that happened just in one school. It was not an isolated incident. It happened to our town. It happened to Vanderbijlpark. It happened to the Vaal Triangle, but also nationally we can say it happened to South Africa. But I believe this morning if we can open our hearts and make a choice to believe, make a choice to judge from a place of faith, the country will look, the city will look, many will look with respect and they will trust the Lord.”