Male rape in focus: Meet the man behind SA's most talked about podcast

“I want him to get everything he deserves.”

That's what Deon Wiggett, the man behind SA's most talked about podcast, My Only Story, said his wish was for Willem Breytenbach.

Wiggett has accused the former teacher and Media24 executive of raping him in 1997, when he was a teenager.

The four-episode podcast was launched on November 7 and billed as a live investigation. At first, Wiggett only referred to his alleged rapist as “Jimmy”, detailing how the death of his father two years ago brought back memories of how he had allegedly been “raped in the mouth” as a teenager by a former teacher.

My Only Story has been the number-one podcast in SA since mid-November.

Police confirmed to TimesLIVE that three criminal cases and one inquiry docket had been opened since the release of My Only Story. Breytenbach was arrested on Tuesday in Hartenbos.

On Wednesday Breytenbach's lawyer, JC de Jager, confirmed to TimesLIVE Breytenbach was still in custody. He would not confirm if he would be denying the allegations or not, only saying it was a "sensitive" matter.

Exposing Breytenbach

“In the weeks leading up to episode one, I was extremely troubled about consciously ruining a man's life. But if I didn’t, he would still be free.”

In the final episode of season one, Wiggett said he did the podcast for four reasons: justice, activism, art and revenge. Speaking to TimesLIVE two days after the release of that episode, he said he felt he had a responsibility to “expose Breytenbach.”

“I felt I had to do something to stop him and stop this incredible decade-long injustice from carrying on. I feel like I had the responsibility to do something because I have the means and the drive to stand up. I blame my mother entirely. My parents raised us to be deeply moral and deeply ethical — if you see an injustice, you are the one who should do something about the injustice.”

Creating conversations about male rape

“Why did I do it so publicly? Well, now we are all talking about it.”

Referring to the 16 days of activism against gender-based violence in SA, Wiggett said he believed there was an “underreported aspect” to the violence.

“I don’t believe male rape is different from female rape in what it does to the victim. Somehow there’s this idea that we need to talk about it separately and I don’t want to talk about it separately. Men are also raped.”

Wiggett said the podcast had sparked conversations about male rape, allowing debate on what he said were “uneducated questions and answers”.

“Are you going to ask me the difference between oral rape, rape and molestations? Because people ask me the question. I was raped in the mouth and I've been told I should say it was oral rape. All of these acts are personal and spiritual violence, and by having these tiers of sexual offences we’re not helping anyone.”

Overcoming fears

“If you have been raped you start thinking: 'What kind of a person would allow someone to do that to them? ... In some way it "must've been my fault".'"

In the podcast, Wiggett describes how he found out where Breytenbach lived and drove past his house. He said it was “one of the most intense things of the whole process”.

“I was so scared of him still. It was as if he was going to burst out the house and start raping and assaulting you. It's so irrational.”

Getting rid of that fear was not something that happened overnight, with Wiggett saying he only lost his fear after the first episode was released. 

He highlighted the importance of seeking professional help.

“I can barely adequately express how important it is to see a psychologist if you have been a victim of rape. Or even if you haven't for that matter. I believe everyone should be in therapy.”

Layers of complicity

“It's part of the reason I worked with News24. I can't have those conversations [with the enablers].”

In the final episode of My Only Story, Wiggett spoke about the layers of complicity of those who were involved in what he called “turning a blind eye” to what Breytenbach allegedly did.

Breytenbach was a former media executive at Media24. News24, which is owned by Media24, is the media partner to the podcast. In a statement to News24, Media24 said it was “shocked” at the allegations of sex crimes against one of its senior managers.

Responding to questions by News24, former CEO Esmaré Weideman said there had been no record of complaints “of this nature” against Breytenbach and insisted all the “usual” checks had been done when the company hired Breytenbach.

Wiggett said there had been many “enablers” around Breytenbach.

“I had to quit my job and tell journalists something they've all known.”

Season two in the making?

“I have found a different way of reporting on sexual offences and sexual predators.”

Wiggett said that while he had exposed his alleged perpetrator, there were still many Jimmys out there. He said he was hoping to find funding to continue with season two of his podcast.

“Jimmy was my Jimmy, but lots of people have a Jimmy. I know of an armful of Jimmys teaching at schools in SA, having access to children in SA. Maybe we can find a different way to investigate historical sexual offences in SA.”

Finding solace

“With the help of the other survivors we have managed to stop him.”

In the final episode, Wiggett gave a moving account of how he stood outside Cape Town airport and looked at Table Mountain without being afraid. He said he had managed to find “meaning” through the creation of the podcast and thanked the other men who had been brave enough to come forward with their stories.

“To see the way these men change because they are confronting their demons has been incredible. I have met most incredible men on this journey. The resilience of these men has been the most beautiful thing to behold.”

For Wiggett it was a full-circle moment when Breytenbach closed his business and retreated to his mother's house near Hartenbos.

“More than anything I am elated about what has happened to the life of Willem Breytenbach. His departure from Cape Town has made the city an infinitely safer place and I don’t feel the compulsion any more of having to warn people the whole time.”