Who on earth do we vote for? Plus five highlights from ‘Vrye Weekblad’

Who on earth does one vote for in the upcoming elections? 

There are very few things in life that fill us with such boundless enthusiasm as an election. The pressure cooker of media analysis and rubbing shoulders with politicians is orgasmic, writes Piet Croucamp in this week's edition of Vrye Weekblad.

The results centre in Pretoria is an amphitheatre of journalists, analysts and employed folk with political ambition who are vying for the public's approval. Rumours, fears, myth and legend flow like blood until the truth is confirmed on the electronic boards. It is a great time to bond with commentators outside the Afrikaans circle because we are kind of over each other. 

But we can't stand around and rub shoulders all day. We have to go vote too. Just like all other citizens, political analysts and journalists will also have to go make a subjective choice. 

That is where the reality of politics sucks the life right out of us. We are boxed into the voting booths like circus lions. Elections are great equalisers. 

So where do I make my cross?

Croucamp says he isn't in the mood for Helen Zille and nothing could make him vote for John Steenhuisen. While he would consider an offer from Cyril Ramaphosa to be his “driver”, he won't vote for an insolvent crime syndicate. Julius Malema calls him a land thief. Which he might be, but he doesn't like Malema telling him that. He voted for the ACDP twice but he is now too ashamed to admit it. And he isn't an Afrikaner so it is a no for the FF Plus too. 

The voting booth is a claustrophobic place for one's brain. And in the end we use it like we use a toilet: to flush away the rubbish of contradictions in our heads.

Pragmatism will win the day, reckons Croucamp, and his choice will be made by way of elimination. Most of us vote for the individual or party who annoys us the least anyway. 

Read more on this, and more news, analysis and interviews in this Friday's edition of Vrye Weekblad. 

Must-read articles in this week’s Vrye Weekblad

>> Browse the full September 10 edition

THE WEEK IN POLITICS | Did President Cyril Ramaphosa and justice minister Ronald Lamola condone Jacob Zuma's medical parole to make the political “Zuma problem” go away, asks Max du Preez. 

AFRICAN JIHAD | The situation in Afghanistan and Mozambique has raised two old questions: can a fight against an insurgence ever really be successful, and if so, how is that success measured? 

SARA THE SHARK WHISPERER | Dr Sara Andreotti tells us exactly how much trouble SA's great whites are in.

THE KINK IN THE CHROMOSOME | Is there a genetic problem with the Y-chromosome that makes some men so violent towards women?

FREE TO READ – MAMMA MIA! HERE WE GO AGAIN | The Swedish supergroup ABBA is back with a new album. That made Madeleine Barnard analyse her decades-long bond with the band, who provided the soundtrack for her youth.