Economic hardship, gender inequality and social media influence are driving a rise in “blesser/blessee” relationships between older men and young women and girls, as youth unemployment in the country hits a record high, says the National Shelter Movement of South Africa (NSMSA).
NSMSA national co-ordinator Anisa Moosa said the biggest concern about these relationships is their contribution to gender-based violence.
“The dependency of a young girl on a grown man is dangerous, not only for her physical wellbeing but psychologically too,” Moosa said.
According to research findings of clinical psychologist Sibongile Sibanyoni, 82.8% of young African women in impoverished areas are engaging in sexual relationships with older men, and there is already evidence of a psychological impact on some of them.
She presented the findings of her study in a webinar hosted by the NSMSA in May.
Her study uncovered that there was a common thread of early relationships with absent or unreliable caregivers which influenced an individual’s ability to form and maintain emotional bonds in adulthood. The lack of financial dependability on caregivers caused the young women to develop a dependency and need for security.
“SA’s unemployment rate has steadily increased in the last 10 years, from 25.5% in 2015 to 32.9% in the first quarter of 2025. The unemployment rate has deepened the level of poverty and almost half of the country’s population lives below the poverty line,” she said.
Sibanyoni said when parents were neglectful or could not consistently provide and meet the needs of a young child, the child’s attachment style became insecure.
“In their relationships, they want a sense of security, which makes them vulnerable to a man who appears as a provider.”
Her research highlighted that the young women in intergenerational relationships become psychologically affected because the men sometimes want them to perform acts which they feel are degrading but, because of the lack of resources, the young women find it difficult to leave these relationships.
While formal research has not been conducted on the impact of older women's relationships with young boys and whether they contribute to gender-based violence, Sibanyoni said it could be safe to assume that the psychological impact is the same if there is a form of emotional abuse.
Sibanyoni proposed interventions — to be provided by schools, government agencies, businesses and NGOs — to counter the vulnerability and risk to young women.
These include “psychoeducation (primary education at school level), comprehensive assessment (brief evidence-based psychotherapy for girls who are already showing signs of distress), and intensive evidence-based psychotherapy (for the severely affected who have possibly experienced gender-based violence)”.
“It is a critical situation, some of these young girls are at the intensive psychotherapy level and are presenting with symptoms of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and have psychosis due to substance abuse,” said Sibanyoni.
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