Two KZN pupil deaths during suicide week bring heartbreak and concern

Suicide awareness week was overshadowed by tragedy in KwaZulu-Natal after two pupils allegedly took their lives.

Okuhle Maphumulo, 14, a grade 9 pupil from New West Secondary in Newlands West, Durban, died in an alleged suicide on Monday.

“We’re devastated as a family about what happened and how it happened. This shocked everyone because it’s the last thing a parent can expect their child to do,” her father Sabelo Khumalo told TimesLIVE.

Khumalo said he had recently received a call from her teacher complaining about her behaviour in school; saying she was disrespectful and refusing to follow instructions.

“It was the first time I got a school complaint about her. At home she was a good girl but we can never know how she was in school. You will think that your child left home for school and then their teacher reports that she’s misbehaving, doing this and that.”

Khumalo said the reported misbehaviour could have been in response to his directive to her to cut her hair but didn't think the punishment was the reason she took her life.

“I don’t think ordering that she cuts her hair would make her take this decision. I think something might have happened at school and she didn’t know how to communicate to me properly or something. I don’t know.”

He said he hadn’t had a chance yet to process her death as he was making funeral arrangements.

“Okuhle was someone I could talk to and show her where she was wrong and sometimes she would go to reflect in her room and come when she was OK. She was never disrespectful or moody. But this time ... I don’t know. Maybe she was under some pressure that I don’t know about. I’m lost.”

His bewilderment is shared by the friends and family of 17-year old Lemar Dunn, a grade 12 pupil from Durban High School, who allegedly took his life on Tuesday near the Musgrave boys school.

His father, Leon Dunn, described Lemar as a “young man whose presence brought light into every space that he entered” but who also faced emotional struggles “that ran deep and silent”.

On Tuesday morning he was rushed to hospital, where he died later that night.

In a tribute to him DHS shared on its social media platforms on Wednesday, the school said he would be remembered as a gifted young man whose talents, character and personal qualities left an indelible impression.

“Lemar will be remembered as a true DHS gentleman — a young man of character, well-mannered, respectful and always a pleasure to be around. Teachers and peers alike recall his quiet sense of purpose, and his kind, caring heart and his positive nature.

“With a warm smile and an easy sense of humour, he brought light to those around him and was always willing to lend a helping hand.”

It also noted he embraced the DHS life, both academically and in extramural activities, showing his musical talents and artistic flair.

South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) operations director Cassey Chambers told TimesLIVE incidents like these called for deliberate support systems in place to combat the scourge of suicide among pupils.

She stressed the need to empower educators to be able spot early signs of mental health struggles among pupils and employ appropriate intervention strategies.

“We have to train teachers on the signs and symptoms; how to get help or what to do in a crisis because often teachers see so much of the first symptoms. They will pick up on some symptoms like a drop in performance at school, isolation or their behaviour in class,” she said.

“They spend so much face time with learners that they do have the opportunity to pick up on signs and symptoms and they do have an opportunity to start the conversations so empowering educators is crucial in the school system.”

She said parents were equally part of that school system and needed just as much training on what the signs and symptoms of depression were, what suicidal warning signs were and what to do if someone was suicidal.

“That is so crucial in identifying the problem and getting help before it’s too late.”

She called for more effort in teaching pupils about depression and anxiety and to talk about health coping skills as well as how to get help when overwhelmed.

“Normalising talking about these things in classrooms and at schools so that learners know that it’s safe to open up and safe for them to reach out for help and connect them to resources at school is key.”

She said teenagers were more susceptible to suicide.

“We know of some glaring stats that at least one out of four teenagers have had serious thoughts of suicide and ending their life. That is very alarming. We also know that 9.5% of all teen deaths are due to suicide and those statistics are too high. When we talk about any lives lost, stats or figures, even one teen suicide is one too many.”

This is partly because teenagers are often a lot more “spontaneous”.

Major contributing factors include social or relationship problems, bullying, trauma, stress from academic pressure at school or problems at home.

“They don’t necessarily have weeks or months that lead up to their suicide, it’s normally a combination of these factors coming together to make the learner feel incredibly overwhelmed and it often happens really quickly. They feel really helpless and hopeless and that suicide is the only way to end their problems,” she said.

“So when we talk about that support system it is starting from step one and it’s crucial to normalise those conversations at school and at home.”

Chambers said suicide loss affects people in different ways and urged victims to reach out to institutions like Sadag.

The free resources they offer include telephone counselling, debriefings for affected teachers and pupils and support groups for families with others who have been through similar situations.

Sadag will host a World Suicide Prevention Day Remembrance Walk in Umhlanga on Sunday and is calling for anyone who wants to connect with others who have experienced suicide loss, or have been affected by mental health to join.

For support contact Sadag's 24-hour suicide crisis helpline on 0800-567-567.

TimesLIVE