The nights are long and the house is hauntingly quiet without the laughter of her children or the familiar presence of her husband. For Nosipho Dabane, 41, silence has become the loudest reminder of everything she lost to the raging floods that tore through Mthatha in June, claiming 102 lives and leaving hundreds destitute.
Three months later, Dabane is learning to live with unimaginable pain. She lost her husband and two of her children when the floods swallowed their home, and her 13-year-old son, Lusanele, is still missing.
“I have lost my family, and I don’t even know where my son’s remains are. He is the only one who was never found. All I want is to bury him so that I can point to his grave,” she said.
This past weekend, the Dabane family gathered in Mthatha to perform a traditional cleansing ritual known as ukukhulula izila, a ceremony marking the end of mourning. Traditionally, the bereaved remove black mourning clothes, burn them and wear new garments to signify a return to normal life. But for Dabane, nothing feels normal.
‘The last time I saw them’
When the floods struck, Dabane’s home was meant to be a place of safety, one she had built with pride and hope in 2017. That night, however, it turned into a death trap.
Speaking to Daily Dispatch after the floods, Dabane detailed the moment her world came crashing down.
“It was my first time seeing water coming inside the house since I built it. The kids woke me up, shouting that the house was flooding. I told them to grab documents and go outside, but the water was already everywhere,” she said.
As the water rose, panic set in. Dabane moved to the kitchen, while her husband and children ran to the bedroom. Some of them climbed onto the bed. Lusanele hid inside a wardrobe.
“I told him to get out because the wardrobe was filling with water. Then I heard a loud bang, and the wall gave way. That was the last time I saw them,” she said.
Desperate to survive, she swam through the violent current towards a nearby tree. A log struck her arm, fracturing it, but she kept swimming, praying for strength and for her family’s safety. She eventually reached dry ground, alone.
Promises and temporary relief
In August, the Eastern Cape government and the OR Tambo District Municipality and partners, including the South African Social Security Agency (Sassa), announced a plan to relocate flood survivors to temporary residential units at Mayden Farm.
Dabane was moved there in September. As she stepped into her new prefab structure, she recorded a TikTok video captioned: “Starting a new life without my husband and kids.”
She says she’s grateful for the roof over her head, but the pain remains unbearable. She shares the unit with her sister, who also lost her child in the floods.
“The government said it would build us proper houses, but we are still waiting. We did receive food parcels, but I don’t know anything about the R2,700 vouchers they promised.”
In August, the Eastern Cape government said the province’s priority was to “restore dignity and stability” to families like Dabane’s.
Provincial government spokesperson Khuselwa Rantjie said the OR Tambo District Municipality received R30m through the Municipal Disaster Recovery Grant to repair water and sanitation infrastructure, and 315 of the 672 planned temporary units have been completed and occupied.
“Each unit has access to running water and sanitation. Sassa has provided R2,700 relocation vouchers to each household to help them settle,” Rantjie said.
She added that plans are under way to identify safe, permanent land for rebuilding, far from flood-prone areas.
“No settlement will be permitted in areas below the 100-year floodline,” she said.
“We’re also training local disaster practitioners to better interpret weather warnings.”
Life after loss
For many survivors, rebuilding is a physical process. For Dabane, it is spiritual and emotional, a struggle to find meaning in survival when so much was lost.
“Home is never the same. I sit here every night hoping I’ll wake up from this nightmare,” she said.
As others start to piece their lives back together, Dabane waits for the day her son’s remains are found, so she can finally say goodbye and begin to heal.
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