While much focus tends to fall on physical and emotional abuse, financial abuse, which is a lesser-known yet pervasive form of control, is quietly trapping countless women in harmful relationships.
A financial adviser at Momentum Financial Planning, Ralene Grobler, says financial control should not be used as a weapon for someone to say in a relationship.
“Financial control and infidelity are not just relationship problems, they are devious tools used to strip an individual of independence, dignity and the ability to leave a harmful situation. Recognising the signs of financial abuse is the first step to empowerment,” said Grobler.
Grobler emphasised the importance of distinguishing normal budgeting disagreements from manipulative financial secrecy.
“Financial abuse can start with financial infidelity when one partner hides or lies about money, assets, or debts and aims to create dependency and powerlessness,” said Grobler
In 2021 the Domestic Violence Amendment Act officially recognised economic abuse as a form of domestic violence.
The act defines economic abuse as coercing individuals into financially debilitating situations, depriving them of resources or economic support necessary for survival, often through manipulation, isolation or coercion.
Statistics South Africa’s 2022/23 Victims of Crime Survey highlights the severity of the problem, revealing that more than half of women in abusive relationships report being trapped by financial control and economic abuse.
Grobler outlined seven key signs that financial secrecy has escalated into abuse:
- The information lockdown: A partner refuses to share account passwords, PINs, income details, or locks away financial documents, leaving you vulnerable.
- Allowance or restriction: Being forced to ask for money for basic necessities, even if you contribute financially, removes your personal agency.
- Hidden debt: Discovering unauthorised debt in your name or shared accounts can destroy your credit score and future security.
- Career sabotage: A partner discourages or prevents you from working or studying, cutting off your independent income.
- Controlling the savings: Restricting access to bank accounts or draining your savings eliminates your financial safety net.
- Forged signatures and fraud: Signing documents under duress or having them forged in your name creates legal and financial obligations you didn’t consent to.
- Isolating you from support: Preventing you from discussing finances with friends, family, or professionals keeps you trapped and uninformed.
“If you recognise these patterns, know that you are not alone and that this behaviour is never your fault. The first step is acknowledging the reality of your situation. The next is creating a plan for financial independence discreetly and with professional guidance if needed,” said Grobler.
Grobler said victims of financial abuse can reach out to organisations such as Powa (People Opposing Women Abuse) which provides free counselling, legal services, shelter and support for victims of all forms of gender-based violence including economic abuse.
“Financial abuse may be invisible, but its effects are devastating. Recognising it early and seeking help can break the chains and restore control over your economic wellbeing,” said Grobler.
TimesLIVE
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