Satanists turn Westboro Baptist Church's founder's mother lesbian in afterlife

19 July 2013 - 16:13 By Times LIVE
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According to a report, the Satanic Temple has performed a 'pink mass' to turn Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps' Jrs mother, Catherine Idalette Johnston, into a lesbian in the afterlife.

The Satanists thought of the idea in April, when the Westboro Baptist Church was threatening to protest the Boston Bombing victims' funerals, website vice beta reports.

While the church ultimately didn't go through with it, the seed was planted and the Satanists decided that a ceremony celebrating same sex couples at Fred Phelps' mother's grave site was an appropriate response.

"We believe that Fred Phelps is obligated to believe that his mother is now gay in the afterlife. Further, if beliefs are inviolable rights, nobody has the right to challenge our right to believe that Fred Phelps believes that his mother is now gay," Lucien Greaves, the temples spokesperson and officiator of the ceremony told vice beta.

"We haven’t gayed Fred’s father yet, or his great-aunt, Irene Jordan, who raised him after his mother died. We will perform Pink Masses for each of them, and more descendants of the Phelps, each time they picket funerals or applaud horrific terrorist actions, as they are known to do. Fred himself is getting pretty long in the tooth, and I hope to be presiding over his Pink Mass before long," Greaves said.

The Satanic Temple had previously come to American national attention when ABC reported that they endorsed Republican Rick Scott for president, saying "The Satanic Temple embraces the free expression of religion, and Satanists are happy to show their support of Rick Scott who - particularly with SB 98 - has reaffirmed our American freedom to practise our faith openly, allowing our Satanic children the freedom to pray in school."

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