'A pool is a security feature… as is a chicken coop' - Twitterati respond to Nkandla findings

President Jacob Zuma will have to pay back precisely zero for Nkandla security upgrades according to the minister of police.

That is right - you won't even get a token amount.

In her report on Nkandla‚ Public Protector Thuli Madonsela found that Zuma had enjoyed undue benefits from 'non-security-related' upgrades and recommended that he pay back a reasonable portion of the costs.

That portion has been found to be precisely zero.

The Twitterati are not pleased:

South Africa has just become a much more secure place: a pool is a security feature… as is a chicken coop. #Nkandlapic.twitter.com/KsMPhpyasO

— Manfred Hertenberger (@mhertenberger) May 28, 2015

EFF long warned that when Nhleko comes to speak he will cook the Nkandla report: now we are told that a swimming pool is a security feature

— Mbuyiseni Ndlozi (@MbuyiseniNdlozi) May 28, 2015

Thuli Madonsela's #Nkandla report was 447 pages. Nhleko's is 51 pages. Next investigation: how many trees did Nkandla reports kill?

— Ranjeni Munusamy (@RanjeniM) May 28, 2015

Matter of days before the police tell us the Nkandla Report is a fire hazard and must be thrown in the fire pool and or swimming pool.

— Chester Missing (@chestermissing) May 28, 2015

       Rt...No public money used @NkandlaHome via @Radio702 harvested from a #Nkandla money tree? #NkandlaReportpic.twitter.com/tcVW0m5SAJ

— A free mind... (@DonMab1) May 28, 2015

I knew Zuma won't pay back the Nkandla money but this more upgrade situation pic.twitter.com/Q46i3O0YhY

— Vuyi Khumalo (@itsvuyi) May 28, 2015

Little wonder the president was so happy yesterday: https://t.co/IbIkykmQAI#nkandla

— James Styan (@jamesstyan) May 28, 2015

All we can say is it reminds us of a song we once heard.