Move on from your break-up so you don’t move on from your job

08 October 2018 - 07:00 By Thango Ntwasa
Depressed man sitting on desk.
Depressed man sitting on desk.
Image: 123RF/Moodboard.

For those who have experienced it, break-ups can be difficult to deal with. Not all romances gone sour play out like Beyoncé’s Lemonade. However, some of the hard feelings can creep up on you in the workplace, so how do you cope with a break-up without slacking off?

“Whether we like it or not, we take home to work and we take work home with us, and going through a break-up – especially a traumatic one – can affect our focus and our performance in the workplace,” says relationship expert Paula Quinsee.

Quinsee also notes it can affect the way you engage your colleagues and lead to a shift in your productivity.

Couples counsellor and founder of Couples Help Louis Venter says that in many such cases, people can experience anxiety or depression. This can be true especially where couples lived together or had certain routines to which they were accustomed.

To avoid your personal life taking over your work life, Quinsee says you need to accept the emotions you are experiencing.

For each month you spent in the relationship, you need to take a week out for yourself, she advises. In this time, you should not pursue any form of dating or seek a new romantic relationship but rather take the time to do activities by yourself, or with your family and loved ones.

There are no quick fixes to dealing with break-ups. Venter notes that it helps when couples can end their relationship by understanding each other’s pain and being forgiving.

“What we don’t finish in a relationship we carry over to the next, but I know the millennial generation is looking for quick fixes and wants out when it hurts – and they like walking away from pain.”

Quinsee says “ghosting” often occurs when one party chooses to avoid ending the relationship for reasons stemming from their own troubles and insecurities. Instead, both parties should concentrate on what they will need from their next relationship.


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