Nurses open up about the inescapable pain of Covid-19 at work and at home

When you walk into Liesel Abrahams’s Eerste River home in Cape Town, a postgraduate diploma in nursing education certificate from the University of Stellenbosch greets you as it dangles from her front door.

“I’ve hung it here in my lounge where I can see it every day because it’s my focus point and motivation. I look at it and I still can’t believe how I’ve managed to pass this diploma given what’s been happening in my life in the past year, but by God’s grace I even got a distinction in one of my subjects.”

It was last year in June, and the 49-year-old mother of two and registered nurse was writing her mid-year exams when her father George Collins died suddenly after a heart attack. He later tested positive for Covid-19. A month later her youngest sister Felecia Barnard also succumbed to Covid-19 after she started to show symptoms on the day of their father’s funeral. It later emerged Abrahams and her husband Glen too had contracted the virus around the same time. Apart from hundreds of patients who died in her hospital, Abrahams also lost a total of nine close relatives, including aunts, cousins and a nephew between 2020 and this year.

Apart from hundreds of patients that died in her hospital, Abrahams also lost a total of nine close relatives, including aunts, cousins and a nephew between 2020 and this year.

“I remember the day my dad died. It was on a Sunday and the following day I was writing an exam. I didn’t mourn properly as I was studying. When my sister died exactly a month later it was like this huge blow. I went into depression and had to be booked off work for several weeks. It was a very sad moment indeed. When I look at the events of the past year I don’t know how I’ve pulled through. It’s only by the grace of God.”

Abrahams, who has been running the hospital’s Covid-19 screening centre since last March, admits that obtaining the nursing diploma, which was awarded to her during an online graduation ceremony, is one of the things that keeps her smiling in spite of the pain she has experienced. But the bonus for her is the gift of life “that has allowed me to come back to do what I love the most … caring for patients”.

Abrahams is one of the millions of nurses around the world who are being celebrated on Wednesday, International Nurses’ Day. According to the International Council of Nurses, in December 2020 there were more than 1.6 million healthcare workers in 34 countries who had been infected by the Covid-19, and as of the end of January the cumulative number of reported deaths of nurses in 59 countries was 2,710.

Abrahams confesses she is looking forward to being celebrated this year, and is optimistic about the future as SA forges ahead with its vaccination campaign.

“I’m so looking forward to the Nurses’ Day celebrations this year. Last year this time it was mayhem. There was no time for any celebration … We were saving lives and dealing with our own grief of being infected by the virus. This year we hope things will be better as vaccinations of healthcare workers is ongoing and the rest of the population is to start. We hope it will translate into fewer deaths.”

One of the nurses who is optimistic about the near future is Nkadi Notyela, an assistant nurse working at Tygerberg Hospital’s emergency ward. After treating and losing scores of patients to Covid-19, including the near-death of her own father to the virus, and battling depression, she is now ready to put the pain of 2020 behind, “but not ready to rest until we reach herd immunity”.

“For me the hardest part was when we lost two of my colleagues that I’ve worked quite closely within a space of two weeks. More staff started to get booked off, and often we worked as skeleton staff because many of our colleagues were ill. Covid-19 became very real for me after that. I started developing anxiety. I didn’t want to be at work anymore. My mental state was affected so much that I had to see a therapist for the first time in my life.”

But having been vaccinated against Covid-19, this mother of two says she feels more at ease facing the third wave, which is expected to hit SA early in winter. “I must say that the vaccine has given me some relief. My anxiety levels are not as bad as they were. I’m no longer paralysed with fear. I feel even more relieved by efforts to vaccinate the general population. I hope it reduces the severity of infections and mortality. But we are not out of the woods yet as long as conspiracy theories about Covid-19 vaccines are still out there.”

The death of my mom is a chapter that I’m not even willing to talk about for now. In spite all of that as a nurse, I still love my job of caring for the sick. 

—  Elizabeth Klasse

Renuka Wilson, a registered nurse at Christiaan Barnard Memorial Hospital, who has worked as a nurse for more than 30 years, including in countries such as Saudi Arabia and the US, describes the pandemic as a catastrophe that “has left many of us shaken”.

“We all had fear of dealing with it. I’ve got young children at home whom I had to worry about possibly passing the virus to. As healthcare workers I feel that we felt the effects of Covid-19 more than anybody else. One has to work in a hospital environment to really see the impact of Covid-19.”

Renuka predicts that by this time next year things will be looking very differen. “There is more optimism for the future. Who knows, by this time next year we might have reached the herd immunity. That’s only when I will relax as a nurse.”

Her colleague Elizabeth Klasse felt the sting that Covid-19 patients went through after she was admitted for the virus to the same ward that she worked in.

“Having seen how devastating this virus can be it becomes very scary being a patient.”

But losing her mother and not being able to attend her funeral due to her own infection brought her to her knees. “The death of my mom is a chapter that I’m not even willing to talk about for now. In spite all of that as a nurse I still love my job of caring for the sick. My own pain has not diluted my passion of being a nurse.”