Jeandre de Beer is embroiled in a legal battle as he seeks to honour the last wishes of his deceased permanent life partner by scattering his ashes at KwaZulu-Natal's Palm Beach.
De Beer and his late partner Adriaan Holtzhauser's family, including his mother, uncle and grandmother, who are based in Brakpan in Ekurhuleni, are now battling before the Johannesburg high court in a dispute over the deceased's ashes.
In court papers, Pretorian De Beer, stated that Adriaan, who died in June last year, had wished his ashes would be scattered at his favourite beach in the KwaZulu-Natal south coast.
Adriaan's mother, Leonetta Holtzhauser, who has been cited as one of the respondents, has kept her son's ashes and disputed in court papers that her son was in a “permanent intimate partnership” with De Beer.
De Beer stated that he met Adriaan in June 2019 and they immediately “became intimate and started seeing each other soon thereafter”.
“We fell in love and moved in together. He asked me to be his partner on 11 August 2019. I accepted his proposal,” stated De Beer in court papers.
He said Adriaan had maintained him financially and that he had also worked for Adriaan's catering company.
I know of certain intricate things the deceased had wanted at his funeral: he wanted white orchids, a slide show of his life with friends that were close with him, with his favourite songs and no funeral sandwiches.
— Jeandre de Beer, partner
“We were happy and we were together from August 11 2019 until the death of the deceased on June 8 2023. I was with him when he died, and it was my mother that had taken him to the doctor and to the hospital days before his death,” stated De Beer.
He stated that Adriaan had told him how he wanted to be sent off should he die.
“I know of certain intricate things the deceased had wanted at his funeral: he wanted white orchids, a slide show of his life with friends that were close with him, with his favourite songs and no funeral sandwiches,” stated De Beer.
He said he had organised his funeral to meet his final wishes, including giving mourners packets of popcorn kernels that had Adriaan's words: “When I leave, I want to go out with a bang.”
“I wanted people to know what he wanted and what his wishes were,” stated De Beer.
De Beer also said that Adriaan had never acknowledged Leonetta as his mother despite having taken care of her financially, including buying her a flat.
“He referred to her as Amanda and stated that she was a relative that had become part of his closer family,” he stated.
De Beer said Adriaan always wanted to be cremated and that a popcorn should be placed in his coffin so that it may pop when he was being cremated.
“This was a form of dark humour, but was very common to the deceased,” De Beer stated.
He also attached pictures of holidays they had together, including some with De Beer's parents in Hout Bay, Cape Town.
However, Leonetta, 49, in her replying papers, said De Beer wanted to take away her son's ashes from her.
“I confirm that I am the person with the right to have collected Adriaan's ashes, and that the bylaw is, in fact, prescriptive in that they must have been handed to me,” she stated.
Leonetta disputed some of the facts stated by De Beer in his founding affidavit, including the nature of their relationship.
“While I do not deny that [De Beer] and Adriaan had a romantic relationship, turbulent at best, for just under four years. I submit that this does not automatically mean a permanent life partnership came into being, and [De Beer] has no right to state it as though it is undisputed fact,” she said.
Leonetta alleged it was De Beer who moved into her son's house shortly after they met in 2019.
“I appeal that there was no permanent, intimate life partnership between [De Beer] and Adriaan, and that [De Beer] states this as though it is a given fact instead of fiercely disputed fact,” she stated.
She disputed De Beer's version that Adriaan's final wishes included the scattering of the ashes at Palm Beach.
“This application is the very first occasion that [De Beer] is stating to me or the family, what he believes Adriaan's wishes to be.
“He has never attempted to meaningfully engage on this front or suggest that he accompany us for such a scattering of ashes. Instead, he insists he must be the one to do the scattering,” Leonetta said.
On the holidays they took together as “life partners”, Leonetta claimed Adriaan was fond of travelling and with “a variety of people”.
The parties await a court date for an oral hearing in the Johannesburg high court.
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