In what experts have said is one of the most brutal cases of parental alienation, a Durban high court judge has intervened and, in a drastic ruling, ordered the immediate removal of two young children from their mother and placed them with their father.
High court judge Rashid Vahed has ordered two boys, aged nine and seven, must reside with their father with no contact with their mother for at least four weeks.
The process is to be overseen by a social worker and other professionals.
The parents, who have been embroiled in divorce proceedings for the past eight years, cannot be named to protect the identities of their children.
In an independent experts report which came before Vahed in the father’s urgent application for the removal of the children from his estranged wife, a clinical psychologist and a curator appointed by the court to act in the best interests of the children, both expressed concerns that the elder child was being “groomed” to act out violently by his mother, including threatening a clinical psychologist with a knife.
The outbursts resulted in him being hospitalised on several occasions, once for three weeks in the child and adolescent unit at Town Hill Hospital.
Doctors there noted he was unmedicated and did not display any antisocial behaviour, in spite of having video contact with his father, who he accused of having abused him.
The experts noted the child seemed to “parrot” the allegations of abuse in a singsong voice, including saying “he burnt my hand, threw me in a river with crocodiles and strangled me”. When pressed for detail, he said they must ask his mother.
The experts noted the children call their stepfather “dad” and their biological father “asshole”.
The clinical psychologist and curator also questioned the roles played by the mother's attorney and some health professionals in the ongoing alienation of the father, who has not had meaningful interaction with his children for five years.
Psychologist Francois De Marigny, in his report, said the legal system had failed. A previous attempt by the father to gain unsupervised access to his sons in 2016 had been dismissed due to a lack of urgency.
He is being inculcated to hate someone he doesn't even know. He has no independent memory of any abuse. He spends his life, every day, believing he is a victim of abuse. It is his only narrative and it is entirely false
— Andrea Goldman, court-appointed curator
“This set the breeding ground for the continuation of supervised contact and further allegations levelled against the father, driven by the mother's lawyer, the mother and her family,” he said.
He said he had consulted with the two boys. The younger one had no recollection of any abuse of his brother, saying only his mother had told him about it and had told him his dad was a “bad man”. The older one also said his father was a “bad dad” and a drug addict who had abused him.
He was confused about how old he was when the abuse allegedly took place.
De Marigny said both were subjected to significant psychological and possibly physical abuse at the hands of the mother. He said this was evident from the number of professionals consulted, hospital admissions, their poor academic performance and overt acting out behaviours, all while in the mother’s care.
The father, he said, aside from litigation fatigue, had lost faith in the legal system.
While the family advocate had reported favourably about the father, the mother had refused to accept the report. She and her attorney had obstructed the reunification processes being conducted by psychologist Clive Willows.
De Marigny reported Willows had initiated video contact between the elder boy and his father. It was recorded. The father had been “gentle, attuned and sensitive”.
At a follow-up consultation, when he was scheduled to have further contact with his father, the child took a knife from his sock and flashed it in Willows' face while swearing.
Willows reported his brother remained passive, reading a book, and the mother did nothing to restrain him.
In her report, curator Andrea Goldman said the children had indicated to her the mother knew he was taking a knife to the consultation because he needed to protect himself and his brother.
She said the videos of the eldest child’s outbursts, sent by the mother, appeared to be staged and contrived.
“On one occasion he says to his mother she can video him [and mentions the name of the attorney]. On another occasion, while being filmed, he says something along the lines of ‘what else do you want me to break?’
“The mother’s management of these situations is passive, ineffective and encouraging. I am of the strong opinion the children need to be removed from the abusive environment with immediate effect.”
Goldman agreed the videos largely appeared to be “staged”, with the older child using artificial, almost scripted language and play-acting.
There were “long pauses” which indicated engagement between himself and his mother.
In the knife video, he appeared “terrified” and not aggressive.
It is the most diabolical injustice and emotionally abusive conduct of a parent I can ever contemplate. The mother lacks any appreciation for how her behaviour, alienation and emotional shortcomings have impacted the children
— Goldman
In other videos it is apparent he was calm, in spite of the apparent chaos he had inflicted, including threatening his mother and siblings with a knife and smashing things.
“No recordings exist of him actually breaking anything. They are all post-fact.”
Goldman noted the elder child had been prescribed “substantial psychotropic drugs”, but was not medicated for three weeks at Town Hill Hospital and was reportedly fine during that time.
“Quite clearly he does not need to be medicated when he is not in the care of his mother.
“He is coached, encouraged and psychologically destabilised to act out so his mother can control and impede any prospect the children will have a relationship with their biological father. He is being inculcated to hate someone he doesn't even know. He has no independent memory of any abuse. He spends his life, every day, believing he is a victim of abuse. It is his only narrative and it is entirely false.”
Goldman said his mother needed him to be psychologically imbalanced, and if left in her care he would “become the monster he is depicted to be”.
“It is the most diabolical injustice and emotionally abusive conduct of a parent I can ever contemplate. The mother lacks any appreciation for how her behaviour, alienation and emotional shortcomings have impacted the children.”
Goldman said the elder child had denied having video contact with his father under the supervision of Willows.
“He has no reason to deny this, unless he is not permitted to admit it.”
Vahed heard the urgent application on Friday. On Monday, he granted a comprehensive order including that the children must be removed from their mother after 2pm that afternoon.
They are to reside with their father and be enrolled at a local school. He ordered the family advocate to conduct an inquiry and report back to the court.
The mother has been interdicted from making any disparaging comments about their father during what will be supervised video visits.
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