Parental expectations, comparisons and a lack of emotional connection can contribute to sibling rivalry, creating a competitive atmosphere in which children vie for their parents' attention and approval.
According to an associate professor in the department of educational psychology at Stellenbosch, Prof Melanie Moen, family-related murders make up 2-5% of all murders, but 70-80% of all murders are committed by someone you know.
In a recent case of siblicide, an 18-year-old youth from Orange Farm, south of Johannesburg, is accused of killing his three-year-old brother.
Ikemetse Tsheole has allegedly confessed to poisoning his brother Tebogo with rat poison.
He appeared in the Vereeniging magistrate's court on Thursday on charges of murder and defeating the ends of justice.
The court heard that he had been diagnosed with a mental health disorder. He was referred to a state psychiatric hospital for assessment.
Exploring the topic of sibling murder, Moen argues that while the family is a core system within the broader community, one traditionally seen as a safe environment, a high percentage of all murders are committed by someone known to the family or a member of a family or household.
Parents only accept the child if they conform to the parent’s idea of an ideal child. Some parents frequently compare their children or pit them against one another, leading to an unhealthy home environment.
— Prof Melanie Moen
“Research indicates that it is often the older sibling who murders the younger sibling and that males commit siblicide [the murder of a sibling] more often than females. Drug and alcohol abuse by one or both parties are often associated with siblicide,” she said.
She said most siblicides occur when siblings are in their 20s or older.
“This may be the result of a lifetime of simmering tensions between the siblings.
“When these crimes are committed, there are several factors that should be considered. One should be careful not to generalise these cases as each case and context differs. However, there seem to be several factors that should be considered,” she said.
She believes most children who commit these murders endure several stressors over a long period.
“One scenario associated with siblicide is frequent arguments before the murder is committed, with one argument being the trigger event. In other words, the proverbial last straw. Other factors might include jealousy or an underlying psychological problem,” Moen said.
Moen has emphasised that the home environment can be a stressful space for a child.
“The child might be desperate to connect with a parent or win their favour. In some family-related murders there is often a poor bond between the parent and the child. A child naturally seeks a close attachment with the parent, but if this does not happen it might lead to several negative consequences for the child. In some homes the child is compared with the other sibling/s or the parent might expect the child to conform to their idea of an ideal child.”
Further, she said sibling rivalry plays a role.
“Children often feel that they are competing for the parent’s attention. In one case that I investigated, the boy felt that his brother was the ‘perfect’ child and that his parents wanted him to be more like his brother. It is important to note that there is not only one factor that comes into play in family murders, but rather a number of stressors over a long period,” she said.
Moen also believes that unresolved conflict might be simmering for a long time.
“Any unresolved conflict might lead to either a person avoiding the other person, verbal conflict or in extreme cases violence and murder. Most people learn over time how to deal with conflict in a non-violent manner, but as we know this is not always the case especially if the child was not guided in developing the appropriate skills,” she said.
In her research of family murder by children, she finds that there is a common perception that children are expected to conform to their parents' ideals.
“Parents only accept the child if they conform to the parent’s idea of an ideal child. Some parents frequently compare their children or pit them against one another, leading to an unhealthy home environment. In several instances of family murder committed by children, neglect and abuse were prevalent factors,” she said.
She said parental involvement plays a vital role in a child's healthy development.
Moen believes that parents should be actively present in the home and serve as positive role models.
Moen said some drugs, for instance alcohol, increase aggression by diminishing a person’s ability to control his or her impulses.
However, she said intoxication alone does not cause violence, but it may increase the likelihood of violent behaviour in some individuals.
“Some types of drugs have been found to increase the likelihood of violence. Substance use disorders (SUDs), have been associated with a range of adverse outcomes, including suicide and violence. Research indicates that up to 75% of individuals who are treated for SUD have engaged in physical assault, mugging, using a weapon to attack another person and other violent crimes,” Moen said.
Moen points out that South Africa has the second most violent school incidents in the world.
“Murders in general are also increasing yearly. The increased violent incidents can be understood from the subculture of violence. We have become socialised to the idea of violence.”
“Unfortunately, in many communities and homes problems are solved through violence. It has been proved that violence breeds violence. Sadly, violence in the home and community has been integrated in our culture. Poverty and structural inequality, as well as changing family structures are some of the reasons given for the increase in violence,” she said.
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