I try to keep it light and silly on a Friday, which is why I was very tempted to tell you Gwede Mantashe on Wednesday delivered a lecture on morality, or that there is a person waging a campaign in the Western Cape High Court trying to force Cyril Ramaphosa to prove the Covid-19 virus exists. But this week there is only one king of current affairs comedy: the inimitable Andile Mngxitama.
Mngxitama, you will recall, is the founder, leader and about 25% of the following of Black First Land First, or BLF, a party dedicated to general revolution and not knowing how abbreviations work.
Admittedly, it hasn’t always been a party. Shortly before the 2019 election, it was de-registered by the Independent Electoral Commission because of its unconstitutional decision to ban white people from joining it.
Say what you want about Mngxitama, but it’s a rare politician who tells potential voters to bugger off.
In November last year, however, it was allowed back into the IEC club, presumably having tweaked the fine print to say white people were technically allowed to join BLF as long as they understood they were extremely unwelcome, didn’t show their upsettingly pale faces at party events, and shouldn’t complain if their membership forms get used as kindling during a BLF teambuilding bosberaad in Mngxitama’s car.
“White people have their party, the FF+, the DA, they even have funny things like Afriforum and Solidarity, all those things,” the Great Leader told the SABC in February. “What do they want in our movement?”
Say what you want about Mngxitama, but it’s a rare politician who tells potential voters to bugger off, especially when the addition of one white voter would probably swell BLF’s ranks by about 20%.
Which is why I couldn’t help admiring the chutzpah of the man as he confirmed this week that he wants to be the next mayor of Johannesburg.
It sounds like a long shot, but I have to tell you, I can think of worse candidates. I mean, I can’t name any off the top of my head, but if you give me an hour or two, I’m sure I could think of at least two people less suited to lead SA’s economic hub.
Then there’s the fact that he’s eminently qualified to run. Hell, hundreds of Capetonians saw him do it in 2015, literally, as he fled through their streets in a frantic attempt to flee his former comrades in the EFF.
Much more impressively, however, Mngxitama clearly knows how to create employment out of almost nothing. Despite having no following, no money, no coherent policy and less than no credibility, he has kept himself clothed and fed for years simply by talking.
So take heart, underemployed and disillusioned charlatans of Johannesburg: your king is coming. At high speed. Pursued by a mob.
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