The movements of former president Jacob Zuma will not be discussed with the media, his spokesperson says, because of “security considerations”. And fair enough. One minute you’re innocently going to buy a packet of cigarettes, the next minute immigration officials are asking you why you’re doing it at a private terminal at OR Tambo International Airport.
Certainly that seemed to be the implication on Thursday, as TimesLIVE quoted an unnamed family member explaining that Zuma wouldn’t be attending former Zambian president Kenneth Kaunda’s funeral because doing so would “give them a chance to arrest him on the way”.
And heaven forfend Zuma would do anything to break the laws of the republic ...
It’s all so sensible and by the book that it’s easy to forget one bizarre little wrinkle in this story: that Zuma’s spokesperson is none other than Mzwanele “Social Engineering for Dummies” Manyi, the visionary who bought ANN7 and The New Age in 2017, shortly before everything fell apart, and who, with the same sort of preternatural ability to pick a winner, climbed aboard the Zuma train 10 days ago, ready to travel express into the dustbin of history.
To be fair, he started very strong. In an interview on Newzroom405 shortly after he signed on as Zuma’s sock-puppet, he was in fine form, selling the disgraced president as a helpless, persecuted victim.
To be fair, he started very strong. In an interview on Newzroom405 shortly after he signed on as Zuma’s sock-puppet, he was in fine form, selling the disgraced president as a helpless, persecuted victim.
“All these years president Zuma’s voice has been suppressed,” Manyi whined, adding that he had taken the job because it was an “opportunity to be the voice of the voiceless”.
Yep, that poor old JZ, always being silenced. I mean, remember how he begged and pleaded with the Zondo commission to be allowed to give his side of the story, only to be gagged and led away in silence? Remember how “Zooming With The Zuma” was banned by YouTube? Remember how everyone at the Jacob Zuma Foundation had their phones taken away and weren’t allowed to issue press releases anymore?
Because Mzwanele Manyi certainly seems to remember those things. And who’s to say they didn’t happen in the parallel universe he inhabits, a universe in which he’s succeeded in moving coloured people out of the Western Cape as per his 2011 fantasies and in which Jacob Zuma is the victim of censorship?
In some respects, however, Manyi has his finger very much on the pulse of this reality. For example, he complained that “people are never interested to hear what president Zuma is saying”, and I can confirm that he is 100% correct.
Which is why, as one communicator to another, I would like to offer Manyi a little tip for the sake of writerly camaraderie.
Sir, when you’re defending your benefactor, as you did on Wednesday, claiming Zuma is not being “afforded the rights other criminals are afforded”, perhaps reconsider the use of that word, “other”?
Read it again. It’ll come to you.
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