There are many shared experiences that South Africans will cherish forever. From turning teapots into alcohol dispensers during Covid-19, to the joy and memories that come with the “Phillip, it is here” misnomer from the 2010 Fifa World Cup. Most recently, it was the heart palpitations we all felt when watching the Springboks week in and week out as they managed to hold on to the Webb Ellis Cup by the skin of their teeth.
In moments like these, we can become heavily invested. It should come as no surprise that fans of the Boks would do whatever they could for their own slice of the boys in green and gold. Especially those overcome by the same emotions that drove them to cheer on the Boks.
A particular case has been a Siya Kolisi supporter who tried to get a smooch from the Boks captain and players. Caught on camera, the moment went even more viral than Eben Etzebeth’s fast food cravings or Damian Willemse’s unchanged winning match kit .
While the woman in East London was not the only fan to do so, her kissing attempt became a viral moment when Kolisi instinctively pulled back from her. It’s a tricky moment to navigate, considering the context of a kiss in South African culture. It is not uncommon to see older women greet each other with a peck on the lips. This is something that has been laughed at by younger generations who often scoff at older family members showing their affection with a peck. It’s how Helen Zille and Dr Ramphele Mamphele famously sealed the short-lived deal between their political parties. And just a month and a half ago, Gwede Mantashe was the subject of public debate when an elderly woman was overcome with the need to embrace him face first.
Kolisi’s peckers are not a rare case. If you’ve watched sports like soccer where footballers run to their fans after a goal, you are bound to see a kiss or two. It’s not romantic but the same symbol of appreciation that is loaded into a high five or fist bump. It would seem, with the little insight we have into Kolisi’s East London fan’s intentions, her brazen display of affection has become a question of intent.
Parasocial relationships with stars can be taken too far. Not respecting someone’s boundaries can often create scary environments. From Ariana Grande to Minnie Dlamini, stars have experienced more extreme cases where fans break into their homes or stalk them in their twisted versions of expressing their love. While she may be harmless and we may assume Kolisi is safe against a woman half his size, a kiss can be loaded with too much ambiguity to be welcomed with the open arms of an older family member.
We should all pause after that viral moment to take some time and think it through. Will the world take Kolisi seriously if he speaks out against unwelcomed kisses and groping?
We often forget that on the same tour, Kolisi's wife Rachel was harmed when a fan threw a ball meant to be signed by the rugby star into the tour bus. If we can’t create healthier ways to interact with stars, we run the risk of forgetting that celebrities aren’t just rich important people, but they can be just as vulnerable as regular folk with no fawning fans. Celebrities can get hurt too. Even if it’s just a kiss.
