TOM EATON | A national health scheme is great, as long as it’s not run by the ANC

The ANC has reportedly described the National Health Insurance scheme as an “unstoppable train”. Of course, we can’t blame the ANC for not knowing how trains work — making machines go is hard — but for the sake of clarity, I would like to remind our leaders that an unstoppable train is a train whose brakes have failed and which is about to transform into a trainwreck.

I should tread carefully, I know, writing things like that, even things that have literally been said by the ANC. Criticising NHI invites all sorts of finger-wagging and name-calling, both from the ANC itself and from people who believe that critics of NHI are a reactionary vanguard of vampire squid capitalists hell-bent on making medical aid giants richer and state-run primary healthcare poorer.

I myself have been branded an “Afropessimist” a couple of times for my criticism of the plan, a word which, alas, reveals much more about the people who throw it around than their intended targets.

After all, if you believe you can lump all of Africa into a single entity, and that Botswana and Namibia are the same as Eritrea and the Democratic Republic of Congo, then you are, I’m afraid, dreadfully ignorant.

French charcuteries are absolutely delightful. Just not when they’re run by Hannibal Lecter.

No wonder so many of them misunderstand the argument being made by those who are alarmed by the NHI bill being rubber-stamped through parliament.

But perhaps one should spell it out, one more time.

We’re not saying let’s not have trains. We’re just asking that the trains be stoppable.

Nuclear power, too, is a grand idea. Just not when it’s Homer Simpson on the controls.

French charcuteries are absolutely delightful. Just not when they’re run by Hannibal Lecter.

I suspect that the majority of my readers would agree with me that socialised healthcare, when run by an efficient and relatively clean state, that is busily producing masses of excellent doctors and nurses and getting lots of clean audits, is a very good thing.

But the majority of my readers also know, thanks to years of bitter experience, what will happen to both the current public and private healthcare systems once they are mashed into a single omnishambles by the ANC and the cadres arrive to carve out their pound of flesh.

This is usually the point where at least one pragmatist asks me: so the poor should suffer until the ANC is removed from power?

That question, however, contains its own answer, since it presupposes a world in which the poor might have their suffering alleviated while the ANC is still in power. And this world doesn’t exist, and never will.

No, the facts are clear. A far-reaching, highly skilled, socialised healthcare system is an admirable thing.

We should demand to see it implemented in South Africa.

The day after the ANC is dumped out of power.