But leaning into those memories and writing them out in detail unlocked a different type of emotion I wasn’t prepared for. It forced me to dig deep and be more vulnerable than I’ve ever been. I don’t necessarily feel “worthy” of sharing this message, as I’m not claiming to have mastered the healing process or do all the things I mention perfectly but I do feel called to share this message.
It took me roughly three months from start to finish to write the book. I had been accumulating the content of this book pretty much my whole life, so when I opened my laptop to start, my fingers simply couldn’t type fast enough to capture all my thoughts. It was a sprint and not a marathon. I’m beyond thankful for my support team who cheered me through to the finish line, including my darling husband who had coffee, snacks and words of encouragement ready at all times.
I’ll never forget sitting on the toilet floor in my bathroom, trying not to wake my sleeping husband at 2am with a looming deadline hanging over me to submit my first chapter. It wasn’t writer’s block holding me up, it was Microsoft Word. The “track changes” feature was giving me trouble and after googling it for about an hour, I ended up sending it to a couple of my friends who were thankfully awake in the US. We emailed back and forth until we eventually mastered it. It was a long night.
A Crown That Lasts: You Are Not Your Label by Demi-Leigh Tebow is published by Lux Verbi
Former Miss SA Demi-Leigh Tebow on writing her memoir
I rooted my identity in the wrong things: in that next achievement, in perfectionism, in people’s perception of me — and I placed my confidence in something temporary, something that did not ultimately last.
Winning Miss Universe in 2017 was a life-changing moment — one of the greatest honours of my then 22 years. It was a chance to make my country proud and to make a positive impact in our world. I had an incredible whirlwind of a year but I eventually had to give my crown back and pass the torch. I put so much of my identity into the pursuit of that physical crown, the title and the purpose behind it that when I had to give it back, I was left feeling insecure, confused and lost. After my reign ended, I asked myself: what’s next? I was going to have to uproot those false identities. Over the last few years, I realised that this is an issue so many of us face in different stages of our lives. I wrote A Crown That Lasts to shed the labels so often placed on us by others, and to ultimately find our true identity.
It was surprising how therapeutic writing turned out to be. I had so many stories to share and I thought I had worked through them by going to therapy and talking about the trials in my life, like losing my sister and the armed hijacking I experienced.
But leaning into those memories and writing them out in detail unlocked a different type of emotion I wasn’t prepared for. It forced me to dig deep and be more vulnerable than I’ve ever been. I don’t necessarily feel “worthy” of sharing this message, as I’m not claiming to have mastered the healing process or do all the things I mention perfectly but I do feel called to share this message.
It took me roughly three months from start to finish to write the book. I had been accumulating the content of this book pretty much my whole life, so when I opened my laptop to start, my fingers simply couldn’t type fast enough to capture all my thoughts. It was a sprint and not a marathon. I’m beyond thankful for my support team who cheered me through to the finish line, including my darling husband who had coffee, snacks and words of encouragement ready at all times.
I’ll never forget sitting on the toilet floor in my bathroom, trying not to wake my sleeping husband at 2am with a looming deadline hanging over me to submit my first chapter. It wasn’t writer’s block holding me up, it was Microsoft Word. The “track changes” feature was giving me trouble and after googling it for about an hour, I ended up sending it to a couple of my friends who were thankfully awake in the US. We emailed back and forth until we eventually mastered it. It was a long night.
A Crown That Lasts: You Are Not Your Label by Demi-Leigh Tebow is published by Lux Verbi
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