EXTRACT | ‘Never Give Up on Success’ by Euphodia Tsatsi

ABOUT THE BOOK

Never Give Up on Success is the go-to resource for anyone wanting to change their life. We are all the products of our physical environment. Who we are and what we stand for is largely a result of our environment. Human beings are a composition of our genes, social upbringing, culture, traditions, beliefs and values of our society.

Each one of us must walk a path in our careers, marriages and family. We can choose how to achieve success in each of these roles. Success does not mean that people follow each other’s footsteps in a straightforward progression. The road to success is littered with obstacles, setbacks and shifts. The joy of life is to learn from every experience, whether good or bad, and to develop and grow from it.

Today, SA needs more skills than at any other time in its modern history. If this country is to survive, it needs quality education and economic growth, both of which provide important weapons to overcome poverty, unemployment, crime, illiteracy, ignorance, apathy and lack of creativity. Many successful people come from humble beginnings, but their will to succeed is greater than their starting platform.

This book provides simple rules enabling you to reach your full potential. It defines what success is and highlights the traits that successful people share. It advises you to surround yourself with positive people, to see problems as opportunities; it teaches you how to overcome obstacles, and how to deal with haters. It teaches time management skills and reminds you to never, ever give up.

EXTRACT 

Learn to Overcome Obstacles

The only people who do not have to overcome obstacles are six feet underground. They have passed on. As long as you are alive, you will face obstacles. Every day when you wake up, you ought to ask yourself, “What challenges am I going to face today?” Former President Nelson Mandela said that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. Whether it is in your family life, marriage, career or profession, you will face challenges. How you deal with challenges is your choice. If you don’t choose how you are going to deal with a situation, someone else will do it for you.

No-one can hurt you without your permission. Some people like playing a negative movie on repeat in their heads just because somebody said something that offended them. You get hurt because of how you perceive the situation. If it happens, give yourself time to get hurt and decide on the period before moving beyond your misery or hurt.

There is a song by Teddy Pendergrass called ‘Life is a Song Worth Singing’. “You hold the key to your success in the palm of your hand. Use it. Don’t blame your life on a master plan. Change it. You are not a wise person if you think you are helpless in every situation. You generate the power. Use it. If you don’t like the way you are living, that’s too bad. Don’t you know that you have the power to control destiny with your mind? You control what you do with your life. You decide what you do with your life.”

You hold the key to your happiness and success. To do this, you must learn to choose your battles. There are bigger fish in the sea. Don’t try to fight every battle that comes your way. Sometimes, you must let go and look the other way and concentrate on the most important things. Don’t sweat the small stuff. However, sometimes you need to tackle the problem speedily so that a small hill does not turn into a mountain. A slight problem should not turn into a monster. Overcoming obstacles requires emotional maturity. Maya Angelou said:

“I’ve learnt that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

I understand the quote to be about your reaction if you were to go through one or all of the three things. Some people may be okay with it. Some may throw tantrums, kick doors, cats and dogs, and dust. Some may be saddened and feel that their plans are disrupted. For instance, if you were going to attend a wedding somewhere or you were supposed to deliver a speech at a very important meeting and your luggage happened to be lost on the plane by the airline (as once happened to me), what would you do? I doubt that most people would go to the airline with a smile and politely tell them that their luggage was left behind. Most people will be angry and feel disorganised by the airline. Some may even demand compensation for the inconvenience.

American author Zig Ziglar used to say, “Don’t let the weather control your day.” Try to feel positive even in severe weather. Sometimes it is not easy. When it is raining, most people prefer to stay indoors and cancel their plans. Some people may be irritated by a change of plans against their will. Sorting out tangled Christmas tree lights will reveal a person’s patience and character. For example, you must do so many things on Christmas Day, such as cooking, cleaning and ensuring that lunch is ready when your guests arrive. Having to untangle the tree lights may make you angry. It will test your patience. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

If you want to overcome obstacles, refrain from complaining. Stop the "me, me, me, me, me," syndrome. You can ask for help from people who have been in a comparable situation, but at the end of the day, you must do it for yourself. Another person will not overcome the obstacle for you. God helps those who help themselves. Face the situation. Putting it aside and hoping that the problem will go away will prolong the pain. When you have a problem and avoid it by trying to sleep it away, you may feel worse than you felt before you went to sleep. Procrastination prolongs the pain. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Stay hopeful and positive. Try to think of the good that is going to come out of the situation. Think of the bigger picture and the fruits you are going to pick when the ordeal is over. Try to smile even during tough times. One thing for sure is that joy and pain can exist at the same time in your life. Even if you smile for no good reason, it will be difficult to be anxious and fearful. Set a realistic goal for yourself. Don’t try to solve the problem overnight. Tackle the challenge step by step, bit by bit, until you reach the solution. Setting an unrealistic goal for yourself can add more burden to the challenge. Treat the challenge like an elephant. How do you eat an “elephant”? Bit by bit, one bite at a time.

You must also not carry about with you things that happened in the past, as the expression tells us, ‘It’s no use crying over spilt milk.’ A friend once sent me a WhatsApp video of a classroom where a teacher was demonstrating the importance of not crying over spilt milk. The teacher carried a glass of water and then asked the students how heavy the glass of water was. A few students guessed; some said it was 8oz, 12oz or 16oz. The teacher then told the students that the absolute weight did not matter. What was important was how long he held onto the glass of water. He said that if he held it for a minute, nothing would happen; if he held it for an hour, his arm would start to ache. The teacher said that if he held the glass all day long, his arm would be numb and paralysed. Though the weight of the glass had not changed, the longer he held onto the glass of water, the heavier it would become. He continued to warn the students that the stresses and worries of life are like the glass of water that he held. The teacher said that if one thought about these stresses and worries for a while, there was no problem; if one thought about these stresses and worries for a little longer, it would begin to hurt; but thinking about them all day, one would feel paralysed and incapable of doing anything.

Always remember, put the glass of water down: meaning, get over the stresses and worries of life; don’t carry them about with you wherever you go; otherwise, they will ruin your happiness and joy. Worrying about them won’t change the situation. It will only give you panic attacks, anxiety and sleepless nights when typically the problem will be resolved in time. Worry does not add value to your life, while the solution or whatever positive action is taken toward solving the problem will add value.

The tale of two monks and a woman is a renowned Buddhist parable. The story is about two monks who were travelling together, a senior and a junior monk. They came to a river with a strong current where a young woman was waiting, unable to cross alone. She asked the monks if they would help her cross the river. Without a word, and in spite of the sacred vow he’d taken not to touch women, the older monk picked her up, crossed the river and set her down on the other side.

The younger monk joined them across the river. He sat next to the older monk, boiling inside because the older monk had broken his vow about not touching women. The older monk behaved as if nothing wrong had happened and did not say a word about helping the woman cross the river.

They then travelled on together. An hour, two or three passed as they travelled on. Finally, the now quite agitated younger monk could not stand it any longer. He asked the older monk: “Why did you carry that woman when we took a vow as monks not to touch women?” The older monk replied, “I set her down hours ago by the side of the river. Why are you still carrying her?”

The moral of the story is a reminder not to dwell on the past in a way that interferes with your happiness and joy in the present moment. Don’t stress about people who want to sabotage and frustrate you. Have faith and trust in what you are doing and keep your eye on the ball. Ignore people who want to frustrate your success and block your happiness for some reason. The Lord will come and remove them for you. In no time, somebody is going to open the door for you at the Right place and at the Right time. Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Before jumping to conclusions about a challenge that involves other people, try to communicate to under­stand their position, where they are coming from, and why they are taking the stand they have decided to take. As Booker T. Washington said, “I have learnt that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles one has overcome while trying to succeed.”

The book launch is taking place on November 28 at Exclusive Books, Mall of Africa at 6pm. To RSVP click here.

Extract provided by Janine Daniels on behalf of JDoubleD Publicity.