Seks: A touch of boerotica

26 January 2014 - 02:01 By Aubrey Paton
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Forget 'Loslyf': the Afrikaner libido has been repositioned in a new translation of the Kama Sutra, writes Aubrey Paton

The not-so-new South Africa is a land of peculiarities and anachronisms: to name but a few recent examples, we have gesticulating fog donkeys, grass-eating congregants and the cavorting of strange bedfellows in Juju Malema and Mangosuthu Buthelezi.

Equally odd is the image of a Boer, the quintessential Van der Merwe prototype with a two-toned shirt, vellies and a comb sticking out of his sock, surrounded by voluptuous houris of various shades.

Or how about a man cooking chops on a skottelbraai while he prepares to shoot a passing antelope? An aeroplane flies overhead and a power station pollutes the background - but what makes it quirky is that he is bare from the waist down and carnally engaged with a nude nubile.

It's a manifestation of what makes Afrikaans not only the youngest but also probably the most hip language in the world: the culture that condemned television as "spiritual dagga" leading to "dangerous liberalistic tendencies" less than 60 years ago now has its very own illustrated version of the Kama Sutra.

The first Afrikaans translation of Vatsyayana's celebrated Sanskrit sex manual (written before the sixth century AD) is interestingly and amusingly illustrated by well-known artists Diek Grobler, Hardus Koekemoer and Marna Schoeman in a manner that would have been unthinkable a few decades back.

As sex manuals go, the Kama Sutra is pretty tame but, like Lady Chatterley's Lover, it has achieved an erotic notoriety that will always excite curiosity despite the somewhat vanilla nature of its contents.

Some positions are given exotic names but there is nothing in Afrikamasutra that would raise eyebrows in today's world of extreme sex, where even mommy-porn insists on bondage, together with the kinds of S&M games that would have shocked Vatsyayana.

As a book of sensual instruction though, it can't be beaten, which may be one of the reasons for its enduring popularity. The Afrikaans translation is humorously and elegantly done, in language so pleasantly poetic it is impossible to take offence at the act described, despite its being illegal in several US states.

And for women who need to brush up on their oral skills, I recommend the verse describing the Amrachushita or - in Afrikaans - Suig 'n mango [Suck a mango].

En nou, aangevuur deur passie, neem sy

Jou lingam diep in haar mond,

Kragtig trekkend en suigend aan hom

Asof sy 'n mango-pit afsuig

[And now, fired by passion, she takes

Your lingam deep in her mouth

powerfully pulling and sucking on it

as if she's sucking off a mango pip]

In addition to the nitty-gritty of sexual acrobatics, the manual gives practical advice on recognising the signs of love, how to see when love is fading and what to do about it - as well as recipes and tonics, none of which are likely to prove much competition for Viagra.

If fisting, frottage or fetishism turn you on, Afrikamasutra is not for you - but for energetic and flexible romantics who appreciate art and love Afrikaans, the book is a cultural and physical investment. Be warned though: a sense of humour is mandatory.

  • Afrikamasutra, translated by Ilse Carla Groenewald, is published by Unisa (R345).
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