I find numbers fascinating. My brain is full of numbers I have no need to know.
For instance, I know the number of goals scored by Pele in his career (1,281).
I also know that, when humans are born, they have around 270 bones and by the time they're adults, that number becomes 206. Of course we don't lose 64 bones during our childhood. Some bones fuse.
I really do not need to know these numbers. I do, however, console myself with the hope that some day I will end up on Who wants to be a millionaire? and the R1-million question will be "How old is the Milky Way?' I will dazzle everyone when I respond, "13.21 billion years" without blinking.
When I was in Standard 5 (Grade 7) one of my subjects was Religious Education. It always seemed to be followed by Ubuntu/Botho - basically 35 minutes of us being told about Inkatha Yenkululeko Yesizwe (IFP).
The general halo around Inkosi Mangosuthu Buthelezi's countenance was a major theme, culminating in our singing Methodist hymns remixed to remove the name "Jesu" and replace it with "Shenge" (Buthelezi's clan name).
All I remember about Religious Education was committing the Holy Bible to memory and reciting it back to teachers. This is how it came to pass that I can recite "The Sermon on the Mount" word for word to this day.
I also know the Lord was so enraged by King Belshazzar's insolence that He grabbed a pen and wrote the words "Mene, Mene, Tekel, Parsin" (loosely translated: God has found you wanting and your days are numbered) on a wall during a feast.
This is how the English language came up with the saying "the writing is on the wall".
The Almighty does not like to repeat Himself so during the recent vote of no confidence He didn't use His permanent marker on a wall. Instead, He sent that woman with unwieldy hair Dr Makhosi whatsername and other rogue ANC MPs to deliver the same message.
But I digress. This is about numbers. One thing I also learned about the Bible is that the Almighty is obsessed with the numbers 3, 7, 10, 12 and 40. The number 12 appears 187 times in the Holy Book. Jacob had 12 sons, who became princes who started the 12 tribes of Israel. Jesus chose 12 apostles.
The number 3 appears 467 times and 7 a whopping 735 times. The number 40 appears 146 times, including the 40 years Moses lived in Egypt and the 40 years he spent wandering the desert.
My point is that these are all round "perfect" numbers. Imagine if, after chatting to the burning bush, Moses had returned from the mountain with only nine Commandments. I don't think nine Commandments would have caught on.
Am I the only one annoyed by how popular culture seems to follow this obsession with "perfect" numbers? Why did Stephen Covey have 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? Why couldn't it have been six habits? Why did the Magnificent have to be Seven in number? Why not eight?
In reality, there were eight dwarfs who hung out at the mall with Snow White but the eighth dwarf was written out of the story. I like to believe his name was Tardy and that's why he was dropped.
Do you see what I mean about prejudice against "lesser" numbers? Can you imagine what it is like to be an insignificant 17 when the numbers gather for their annual lekgotla and the prima donnas 5, 10 and 20 hog the limelight?
Since July Mrs N and I have been married for 13 years. It wasn't a big deal because who cares about a 13th anniversary? I have half a mind to throw a huge 14th anniversary party so an annoying twerp will ask: "What will you do for your 15th?" I will yell: "Fourteen years is also a significant milestone."
This is why I never use round numbers to illustrate points during debates. That makes lies less believable. "In the 20 years the ANC has been in power" sounds less impressive than "in the 23 years and four months the ANC has been in power".
• Follow the author of this article, Ndumiso Ngcobo, on Twitter: @NdumisoNgcobo..