Is the grand automotive exhibition still relevant in this world of convenient online gratification? We boarded one of Vuyani Jarana's long-haul aircraft last week to glean a more conclusive verdict from the 2017 Frankfurt Internationale Automobil-Ausstellung. That means Frankfurt International Motor Show, if your Deutsch is a tad rusty.
The mood could not be captured from a computer screen - even though most of the reveals had already been revealed on the web in preceding weeks. Blasts of shiny confetti, acrobats and scantily clad models may have been relegated to the history books. But carmakers still love a gratuitous spot of ceremony and self-congratulation. An opportunity to tout their future wares and shine the spotlight away from past blunders.Volkswagen boss Matthias Müller is no stranger to damage control. Packed among the world's motoring press in front of a podium, I was close enough to smell his cologne during a speech before the displays opened. He spoke of truth, transparency and restoring confidence.If he had choked-up, it wouldn't have been because of any diesel emissions in the display hall.
Electrified mobility appears to have been the theme at this year's show. Electric vehicles were everywhere. Some were captivating, some were ugly, some had peculiar names - but all affirmed that electric cars, like duckface selfies on Instagram, are going to be around for a while.
Dyed-in-the-wool supporters of all things petrol-powered enjoy bemoaning the transition. But there were many offerings at Frankfurt to soothe the collective conscience of internal combustion apologists.
Here's what we saw.DAY 1: SHOCK AND AWE
Quiet whirring motors and charging stations could define the motoring future. Automakers are scurrying to outdo each other with promises of impressive operating ranges and swifter charging times.
Audi showed off a pair of new electric rides. One is named after someone's aunt. The Elaine is smart enough to read its driver's heart rate - and will guide you through breathing exercises if you're stressed.The Audi Aicon seems more indifferent: the car represents a fully autonomous preview of future luxury motoring. There's no steering wheel. It's the ultimate Uber Black, in other words.
Sister division Volkswagen showed the ID Crozz II, a hatchback with rear sliding doors billed as a futuristic Golf GTI successor. They will have to simulate the "vrr-pah" acoustic elements.
Everyone loves a well-executed attempt at the cute city car genre. Honda's Urban EV looks to be just that. It could see production as early as 2019.BMW vowed to have 25 electrified cars in its line-up by 2025. One of them was previewed in the form of the Vision Dynamics concept, part of the BMW-i sub-brand. It could be called the i5 when it sees launch.
Better late than never, Mercedes-Benz revealed the precursor to its first fully electric offering: the EQA concept. Among the highlights is a grille that changes shape according to the selected driving mode.
Renault came to the party with its self-driving Symbioz, while Jaguar alluded to an exciting, all-electric competitive touring car series with the i-Pace eTrophy.
By the end of day one you might realise that fans of Crocs were onto something. Nobody mentions the amount of walking involved in covering a global motor show.DAY 2: TIME TO REFUEL
If you want to celebrate the thrill of motoring in a more traditional form, then Ferrari is a decent place to start. The show coincided with the Italian marque's 70th anniversary.
The new Portofino debuted: a replacement to the California as the "entry-level" Ferrari. It aims to remedy assertions that the outgoing model wasn't thoroughbred enough to wear the prancing horse emblem.Lewis Hamilton demonstrated his modelling skills by taking the wraps off the Mercedes-AMG Project One, a machine that upstaged the racing champion's "on fleek" hairdo. But it would, with an F1-derived engine, supplemented with three electric motors, that helps it reach 0-200km/h in under six seconds. Think about that for a bit.Highlights from BMW included concepts of the forthcoming Z4 roadster and 8Series coupé.
Then there was the X7 large sport-utility vehicle teaser, which, with its oversized kidney grilles and grotesque proportions, was the butt of considerable teasing. Show-goers grimaced while taking pictures with their smartphones. Children hid behind their minders. Redemption came in the form of the enticing next-generation M5, which had the public awe-struck for the right reasons.
Audi had an ace up its sleeve in the R8 RWS, a limited-run version that ditches the Quattro system for easier sideways thrills. Then there was the RS4, available in wagon format only.
Kia was not to be overshadowed in the estate car department, with the gorgeous Proceed concept. In contrast to the yeast-loaded, bulbous models that feature in the current Mini line-up, the brand displayed its JCW GP concept.
Porsche took things down a touch with a softer version of its GT3, wearing what it calls a Touring Package. This omits the fixed rear wing and adds more cosseting interior features.The folks at Bentley shook their heads disapprovingly when we hopped into the new Continental GT holding a paper cup of coffee, for the purposes of the all-important cupholder test. It passed and none was spilt on the buttery-soft leather. Lamborghini proffered the swansong to its flagship Aventador with the S Roadster version.DAY 3: REALITY CHECK
The expectations stirred by hot concepts are cool and all. But it is easier to get excited about metal that we will see locally in the not-too-distant future.
Hot hatchback rivalry in South Africa will get even more interesting with the arrival of the Renault Mégane RS and Hyundai i30 N. The new Volkswagen Polo GTI and Suzuki Swift Sport are also expected at a set of traffic lights near you...