The irony of Melania Trump's views on cyberbullying

Did everyone miss the irony of Melania Trump's speech, addressing the UN on cyberbullying a few weeks ago? The Flotus and anti-bullying go together like Jacob Zuma and safe sex. Or KPMG and clean audits.

Given the fact that her thin-skinned tweeting disaster of a husband happens to be the world's biggest bully, using the UN General Assembly to call Kim Jong-un "Rocket Man" (Trump is now being called Elton Don), her choice of cause is so ridiculously risible that one sometimes wonders whether one of the five languages she claims to speak is irony.

It also makes one wonder whether she is, in fact, trolling her own husband. Either that or she's living in some kind of gilded haze, parroting in robotic fashion words that, when not lifted from her predecessor Michelle Obama's speeches, are cobbled together by her speech writers to extol - almost wistfully - a code of moral behaviour glaringly absent from the Trump White House.

"Nothing could be more urgent nor worthy a cause than preparing future generations for adulthood with true moral clarity and responsibility. Therefore, we must teach each child the values of empathy and communication that are at the core of kindness, mindfulness, integrity and leadership which can be taught only by example. By our own example we must teach children to be good stewards of the world they will inherit."

She even had the temerity to encourage everyone to commit to the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Are you kidding me? Could she really be that clueless that she doesn't realise her own husband's interpretation of the Golden Rule is you vote for me and I'll screw you? Has her son Barron ever seen his father's bellicose tweets or heard him defend white supremacists or watched him lie with such shameless ease? Or perhaps he's listened to that infamous "grab 'em by the pussy" audiotape?

"By our own example," Melania declared with Deepak-esque solemnity. One sees how Eric and Don jnr have turned into weasels who threaten and accuse and abuse government funds, just like their father. One sees how Ivanka is nothing but an empty-headed, insincere faux feminist, however immaculately groomed. The future does not bode well for young Barron.

And her choice of outfit was curious. That bright pink Delpozo coat dress with its voluminous sleeves made her look like she was drowning in a giant cotton candy ball. At times her face seemed to take on a stricken look, as if she were pleading: "Save me, I'm being bullied too."

Sorry, girl, but you know how this one goes. Now fill in the blanks: "You've made your bed."

And a shower won't wash off the stench. Just ask Zuma. And Bell Pottinger isn't around anymore to repair your reputation.

• This article was originally published in The Times.