About a decade ago I sat in a restaurant at Terminal B of the OR Tambo International Airport. Seated across from me at the table was a bitterly unhappy gentleman chewing so hard on his steak I was beginning to worry that his teeth would break. A few seconds earlier I had given him some bad news; after careful consideration, I had decided to sever our working relationship. He didn't take it well and I could tell that he wanted to say something harsh to me, in retaliation.
Finally, he dabbed at the corners of his mouth with his napkin and snarled: "You know, most countries in the world have national characteristics. The Japanese are known for their innovation. The Germans are known for their industrious efficiency. The Swiss are known for their precision. What would you say is the national characteristic of the black South African?"I wanted to ask him what his point was, that I wasn't aware "the black South African" was a homogenous group, let alone "a nation". But I felt it was too early in the day to answer moronic questions. Besides, a former colleague, Mthokozisi Bhengu, once asked me: "When a mutt barks furiously at your feet, do you go down on all fours and bark back?"
Over the years I have found myself mulling over that question. I'm spending this week in Nigeria as part of the Kaya FM crew broadcasting from the Southern Sun Hotel in Ikoyi, Lagos. The "national characteristic" question popped into my mind during an on-air conversation that my co-host, Kgomotso Matsunyane, and I had with Nigerian media personality and filmmaker Ireti Bakare-Yussuf during Uncaptured, the Kaya FM drive-time show on Tuesday.
Ireti gave an unsolicited description of Nigerians as a nation of bold, big thinkers. Later in the afternoon author and poet Dami Ajayi described Nigerians as a loud, boisterous and assertive bunch.Nigeria's national motto since 1978 has been "Unity and Faith, Peace and Progress". But I honestly believe it should be "Go big or go home". Everything about Nigeria is big. Lagos is huge and full of bold colours. The music is loud. The food is all about explosive flavours.
The "Go big or go home" spirit in Nigeria is everywhere. At some point we hit the Balogun Street Market in the city. A city with about 23 million people, all eking out a living without social grants. The streets are a hustling, bustling and entrepreneurial ocean of humanity. Cars, tuk-tuks and Vespas compete with people for the road and by some kind of miracle, no one seems to be run over.
I was on the prowl for the brightly-coloured Chiganvy fabrics the missus desires. In the two hours or so I spent walking the Balogun streets I was propositioned more times for the nairas in my pocket than a Durban Harbour stripper on a busy Friday night.
But perhaps the "Go big" spirit is best embodied by a simple statistic. There are about 25 commercial banks in Nigeria. You read correctly: 25. This is simply a function of people not lying down when faced with poor service.
Opposite the hotel we're staying in is a Zenith Bank ATM. The bank was founded by Nigerian billionaire Jim Ovia using, in part, a savings fund owned by street traders, I am told. In our lexicon, that's like having a bank started using street trader stokvel money. I have yet to get a coherent answer as to why we don't have a Stokvel Bank in South Africa...