We're totes shipping for Zuma & Zille to hook up in 2018

If you're super into the internet, you'll know all about shipping. No, this has nothing to do with Aristotle Onassis. Shipping is internet-speak for fictional romances that people stan* for.

It's short for "relationshipping" and it thrives on several websites, most popularly Tumblr. If you think Bella should have chosen Jacob instead of Edward in Twilight, then you ship for Bacob (or Jella, depending on which portmanteau you prefer).

Shipping can be about fictional characters, celebrities or public figures. It can be same-sex or opposite sex. It's about couples who should be together, but often don't know it.

These are the pairs we're shipping for in 2018:

Jacob Zuma and Helen Zille (Jelen?)

These two are like an older pair of Capulets and Montagues who have too much to lose by simply admitting the obvious sexual tension between them. They may not think so but we see the stolen glances, the giggles and bristling lust that pops out when they meet. Were it not for the insurmountable problem of their politics, this pair would be South Africa's answer to the Obamas.

Diddy and Jennifer Lopez (Jiddy?)

They broke up 16 years ago, but Diddy and JLo will forever live in our hearts. She was the fierce triple threat from the Bronx whose lip liner was darker than her lipstick, he was the rap mini-mogul in oversized leather jackets. He's now one of the wealthiest men in hip-hop and drapes coats over his shoulders. She's, well, Jennifer Lopez. Power. Couple.

Prince William and Kelly Rowland (Kellyam?)

All the motivation his royal highness needs to leave his beautiful, but seemingly mechanical wife, is on YouTube. As Queen Beyoncé's deputy Rowland is technically a princess so pedigree is not a problem. More importantly she would inject life and pizazz into a royal family that, before Meghan Markle, was beginning to look and feel like a cold bowl of Jungle Oats.

Donald Trump and Kim Kardashian (Kimdon?)

This would be fun to watch if only so we could see what happens when the two most accomplished narcissists in the world go head-to-head in a war of the headlines. It's a relationship in which neither could live (metaphorically) while the other survived. As an aside, one imagines Kris Jenner would probably be better at controlling the orange-in-chief than the rest of his staff has been.

Cassper Nyovest and AKA (AKass?)

Their rivalry is really just a bromance in disguise. In 2018, it's time for them to kiss and make up. Maybe even literally. AKA declared his love for Cassper when, in the lead-up to #FillUpFNBStadium, he tweeted: "I wanna do fill up FNB with [Cassper]. It's time we put this shit to bed ... Anyways, tweet the n***a or whatever and see what he says. Maybe he'll call me or I'll call him." Cassper's response? "Buy a ticket." Yikes. Unrequited love is hard.

Rihanna and Lewis Hamilton (Lewanna?)

One is an insanely beautiful musician who is arguably the only person who could be compared to Beyoncé. The other is a championship-winning Formula One driver whose face is no less easy on the eye. This couple is the personification of glamour. If Monaco had a baby with Los Angeles the resulting twins would be these two.

*For those over 40: "stan", from the Eminem song of the same name, refers to obsessive fans and can be used as a noun or a verb.