When the wife of an insurance tycoon, who is described by the Brits as richer than the queen, invites you to her birthday party, it's an offer you can't refuse.
And with one of the country's most expensive homes as the setting, it gives you a chance to see how the 1% live.
So off I went to Palazzo Steyn, the mansion valued at R250-million when it was completed four years ago, to attend Carolyn Steyn's fancy do.
Walking down the grand marble staircase of the house, set on the sprawling 810ha Steyn City estate outside Fourways in Johannesburg, the woman of the hour greets me with a curtsy.I wish Carolyn, who later joshes that she's thrilled to turn 48 (according to Google, there's a missing decade), and marvel at her massive diamond drop earrings and her red Michael Kors dress.
No sight of hubby except, eerily, a painting of the Auto & General founder propped up against a wall.
"You know Douw doesn't like these sort of things," whispers the founder of 67 Blankets for Mandela, explaining that he chose to spend his time at Shambala, his private game reserve. Mmmmkay...Carolyn introduces me to her siblings, older sister Colleen Teklenburg and the younger Sharon Barkhuizen.
I ask Colleen to spill the beans on what Carolyn was like growing up.
She tells me that there was a bit of sports trophy envy because she wasn't quite athletically inclined.
That, though, has changed with age, with the former actress, telling me these days she can "out-plank anyone. At a push, I can last six-and-a-half minutes".So, who else pitched up?
There was childhood mate Franco Cotumaccio and her bestie Michael de Pinna, who you might remember as the leopard-leotard-clad man in those Yebo Gogo ads, those socialising sisters Basetsana Kumalo and Johanna Mukoki (who go to as many birthdays as they do social dos) and someone who I thought was the NikNaks man but who turned out to be jeweller Kevin Friedman in the world's loudest orange suit.
Throw in French ambassador Christophe Farnaud, socialite Peta Eggierth-Symes, TV producers Duncan and Kee-Leen Irvine and events maven Jill Grogor with her husband Klaus.Heading out to the deck, I join Generations creator Mfundi Vundla and his wife Karen to take in the view overlooking a massive pool.
Also taking a breather is Tumisho Masha, who scored best actor nod for Mandela’s Gun at the Harlem International Film Festival earlier this month, and his girlfriend, Chantal Wagner.
We’re served canapés including salmon on rye, jalapeño rissoles and Thai confit duck before a butternut and ginger soup starter, a range of rice and pasta dishes as mains and iced cupcakes for dessert.
But while I thought the food was passable, it wasn’t exactly on par with the lavish surrounds.
At least the birthday cake, brought in by Carolyn ’s diminutive personal chef Percy Mashao, was decadent enough: a butter toffee sponge with caramel choc dripping topped with meringues with fresh strawberries and hazelnut medallions...